Saturday, September 18

Overwhelmed

So yesterday was awful.  What was supposed to be just a doctor's appt turned into a nine hour stay at the hospital.  Although my mom's arm is doing better, yesterday sure didn't help.


My uncle helped us go to her doctor.  My mom got x-rays at the doctor's to see how her humerus is doing.  Apparently the humerus isn't totally connected.  The doctor suggested she go to the hospital because they have better equipment and he thought they would have to do surgery on my mom's humerus.  Of course this made my mom and me really scared because we really don't like surgeries, I personally think she's had too many (gallbladder removal, rathke's cleft cyst removal, mediport placements (2) and I think that's it), I just don't like her being "under the knife" it makes me really scared.  Anyway, so this nurse told us to go eat then head over the hospital because it would be a very long wait.


After eating, we went to the hospital and there was tons of people there.  Also, this hospital is a different one that we usually go to so it was a major change.  Fast forward three hours or so and she was in an ER room.  We ended waiting for long periods of time in between people coming in and out of her room.  We sat there, she kept repeating the horrible story about the accident.  The doctor's said that they don't know if there is cancer in her humerus and maybe that's why it was very brittle, or that maybe because of her chemo treatments making her bones very brittle (which is what I'd like to think).  That was overwhelming to hear. 


Closer to the end of her stay my mom had to get blood drawn, which because of her having skinny veins, cancer and not being allowed to drink much, was very VERY difficult.  It was horrible to see my mom in such pain,  it's moments like those that I really hate, because there is nothing I can do.  That is when I hit rock bottom.  I tried to keep her mind off of the pain, but she is the strongest, bravest person, and if she's crying she's really in pain.  It was awful. 


Fortunately, they didn't keep her overnight.  Here is the update: she has her oncologist appt this thursday, then she'll get blood drawn sometime after that, then CT scan, then her appt with the orthopaedic oncologist and then we'll see from there.  Oh and they are thinking that she won't have surgery because the bones will heal themselves. (good news! yey!)


About the car situation: the car is most likely not totaled, yey! (good news) 


Today was rough though.  I think that the more time passes the better. 
Another thing, I got scared because of my scar from my surgery on my back, it felt weird, but then my mom and I remembered what my dr said of how it would heal.  So now I'm not as freaked out.


Keep praying!
Thanks for reading.


This is a good song I've been listening to that pretty much explains how I feel: Hallelujah  by Jeff Buckley.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8AWFf7EAc4&ob=av2e

2 comments:

Greenelephant said...

You and your mom are always in my prayers.
-Emily

Amy said...

Thank you Emily. It means a lot.

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