Volare. I believe I can fly.

     It is with a heavy heart that I tell y'all these news.  I will not be studying abroad in Rome during Spring 2013.  After much consideration and crying, it is a better option to not go.  As y'all remember from my first post about studying abroad, I was pumped about it.  This was way back in December 2011.  My Italian teacher suggested I go during the spring because the weather is nicer, so I began looking into it after being apprehensive about it.
     I told my friends about it and Mickey became interested in the idea as well.  I took on a second job at Cracker Barrel to save money and to still be able to pay the bills.  At the beginning of this semester, Mickey and I went and visited Alanna and we continued the process of applying to study abroad.  Everything was fine but slowly we started realizing that, financially, this would be something very difficult.  I had money saved up to pay bills while away but my concern was about my return to the U.S. and internships and everything.  Paying for the plane ticket and passports and additional expenses were also of concern.
    After obstacle after obstacle, Mickey and I still kept persevering through and tried to figure out ways to work with them (obstacles) but then the biggest one came.  If we stayed here in the U.S. we could graduate in December 2013.  If we would go, we wouldn't graduate 'til at least Spring 2014, if not later, as some classes aren't offered every semester.  My biggest worry is that I need to graduate and get a job soon so I can start living independently. I'll be turning 21 in 175 days and as I get older I want to make sure I can get in the business and work my way up ASAP.  I will start almost anywhere. I just want to get there and do it.

     I would have loved to study abroad in Rome and learn the Italian language more but I feel that it's not God's plan for us now.  Ironically, today I found out I received the Gilman Scholarship, it's a study abroad scholarship Mickey and I had applied for a while back.  I'm not gonna lie, declining that scholarship was one of the harder things I've had to do in college. We were both extremely sad to not be able to do this but realize that everything happens for a reason, so here are the opportunities available for us here!

1. Mickey is Vice-President of To Write Love on Her Arms at our university! Congrats babe!
2. I can audition for The Memory of Water and even if I don't get in, I'll have added experience.
3. I can cut down on the amount of time I work at Cracker Barrel. (I'll tell y'all more about that another time).
4. I can volunteer here and put in my application for graduation in January.

I must have God's side hurting from all the laughing.  Haha.  

5. We can possibly continue Off Broadway!
6. I can not be as restricted financially!
7. We get amazing classes here!
8. We can graduate in December 2013 (God willing).
9. We won't miss all those spring holidays with loved ones.
10. I can continue participating in events with Catholic Daughters, TWLOHA and maybe if our Associated for Women in Communications organization grows on campus, I can be an officer!

Yes.  I'm very sad that this didn't work out but I know that God and my mom have bigger plans for me.  This just wasn't meant to be, not now.  So, wish us luck as we finish this semester strong!

O Rome-o Rome-o! Wherefore art thou Rome-o?

Okay so Mickey and I have been super stressed about this whole study abroad situation.  Well, actually mainly me because those of you who know me know how I can be a worrywart.  So, this is no exception.

Here's a little recap:

-So apparently, I came into college with 32 hours from high school, which basically put me at sophomore standing.  Now, I'm considered a senior in college, even though this is only my 5th semester!
-Mickey and I went to talk with a teacher who basically told me I could graduate this coming May, which isn't that surprising to me because I heard about this last semester.  The thing is that many of my Comm Arts teachers kind of don't care about my minor in Theatre.  Actually, a lot of people don't, which is weird because I wouldn't be minoring in it if I didn't absolutely love it.  They only care about my BA in Communication Arts which is cool and all but I am also minoring in Theatre for a reason.
-The thing is that apparently, there aren't really that many classes that could transfer from Rome to my college here because at my current senior standing, I need certain classes that are only available here.  I was told by this teacher we saw that I would only need my History class.
-Later, Mickey and I went to talk with an advisor I've gone to since my mom passed.  She said that I could take about 3 classes that would most likely transfer here.  She reiterated the idea that she just cares about the Comm Arts stuff and another thing that people have told me since, that I could always go visit Rome.  The thing is that visiting and living in Rome are two completely different things.  She, along with Mickey, realized that I had gotten very stressed.  I've got some people telling me that studying abroad right now would be dumb and others that say do what you feel is right.  
-Here's the conclusion I've come to:

"She believed in her dreams but she also believed
in doing something about them."

I would have never even slightly considered studying abroad if my mom were alive.  Technically, I could possibly graduate this coming May but I know myself and I'm not ready.  I may take my time to do certain things but I do them in my own time.  I'm getting there but I'm not ready yet.  I need to do some more growing up.  Studying abroad would allow me to do this.  I would learn to live on my own even more than I do now.  If I could make all of this happen right now, I would feel so beyond proud of myself.  I've gotten an extra job and have cut back on expenses to make this a reality.  It hasn't been easy but I don't want to live my life with regret.  I don't want to wonder in 10 years what would have happened if I'd study abroad.  I want to look back and realize that even though I graduated in 3.5 years,  I was able to get the most out of college.  I want to live life, I want to experience as much of it as possible.  I want to talk to people of all countries, I want to explore new things.  I want to study abroad in Rome this Spring 2013 semester.

I have asked my mom for guidance in helping us during this process and I've been surprised to find her ways already working.

So, wish us luck as Mickey and I continue to embark on this adventure as we figure out how to make this crazy dream of ours come true.  I will try to keep y'all updated and apologize for the scattered nature of this post.  :)

I can't even begin

I can't even begin to tell y'all how many times I've wanted to blog but just get too tired.  So, I'm definitely glad I am able to blog! :)

-I got a 96 on my Italian II test!
-I went out of town with my friends last weekend and I had so much fun! There was this festival and everything there! I went on different rides which is so amazing because I usually don't really go on rides, even these baby ones, because I get too scared but I did it! I went on rides that scared me at first and I don't regret a thing! Thank you Katie, Dominic, Mickey and everyone else for such a fun time!
-Valentine's Day was three days ago.  It was kind of the same old kind of day for me.  Katie and I decided to go to a restaurant though because it was our "fat day" as we like to call it when we can pig out (based on this semi-diet thing) and we did but we got some awkward stares.  Haha. It was fun though because we had some GOOD food.
-We are all (for the most part) still trying to be healthy. I'm hopeful.
-My confirmation is this sunday! My mom would be so happy and proud of me. I'm glad I'm doing this because it feels good.
-I've decided to see Dr. Tucker every two weeks now, instead of every week.  Of course, a few days after I made that decision and told him, I had a meltdown, but all is well now.
-I've begun to teach conversational Spanish! At the moment I have 1.5 jobs so it's improvement.
-My friends and I are working on producing different skits and it's making me SO HAPPY. I have no words to describe how much I love acting. :)
-I've made huge strides and I'm frickin proud of myself for that.  I feel my mom is too.

HAPPY 100TH POST! (& VERY IMPORTANT NEWS!!!)

That's right.  This is my 100th post! Can y'all believe it? 99 posts have already been written! Here is the link to the first one in case y'all wanted to see it.  A lot has changed, obviously.   The most important one, I believe is how much I've grown as a person. Seriously, if I knew then what I know now, then I'd be a really smart 18 year-old.  Haha. Seriously, though, it's insane how much you grow in a year, or in this case, in 100 blog posts.

So for the news of this week.  List? Yeah, I think it's my style, it helps me keep organized.


-FINALS are done!!!! I'm done with my third semester of college! I still get this feeling sometimes (since thursday 3:25ish) that I need to study for something. I definitely don't! Woohoo!
-Work was very stressful today.  My boss' mom isn't doing well.  Please pray for them. <3 Thank you.  Pray for her to comforted by God and our love (co-workers, friends, family).
-I'm doing very well in the "trying new things" department.  It's pretty amazing. My momma would be proud.
-I volunteered with Susan G. Komen today at this Breast Cancer Symposium in my city.  It was FANTASTIC! I loved helping out and meeting people from all over the world.  Singapore, United Kingdom, (I heard British accents!!!!) California, Venezuela, NEW YORK!, Italy (I need to tell y'all something later concerning Italy, BIG NEWS!), and many other places.  It was so rewarding and I loved talking with the ladies there, the ones at the booth where I volunteered.  I look forward to volunteering with them in the future!
-Acting final was super fun! Caity and I were nervous right after we performed it because we were the first ones and you know, it was the FINAL but we got amazing feedback!!! I really love theatre.  It makes me happy.  I always feel better leaving that class.  I'm gonna miss it tons.  Next theatre class up: Intro to Technical Production, where unfortunately there is no performing :( Oh well, until Fall 2012 for…INTERMEDIATE ACTING! I'm super excited for that one.
-I will miss Country Western Dance :( It was a very fun class.  I miss dancing.  Boo.  Hopefully, I will get to use my awesome dancing skills soon though.  Haha. But seriously.
-One of the other classes I will miss is Italian, I will be taking Italian next semester, so it will be okay.

✭✮✯So, some of y'all may have forgotten the Italy thing I mentioned above ↑ (way up there) and some of y'all maybe didn't but here it is….WAIT FOR IT…WAIT….so…I'm 83% sure I'm going to study abroad in Italy during the Spring of 2013!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is that amazing/wonderful/magnificent or what? It all started when I was talking to my Italian teacher, who was also my Spanish teacher in high school. I don't remember how we got to it but we started talking about studying abroad.  My scene partner and I were the last ones there after everyone (including ourselves) finished finals.  We all started talking about stuff and my teacher started talking about studying abroad in Italy.  I've always been the one to dismiss the idea because I always wanted to be here, different priorities you know? Now, though, everything has changed. It was nice to talk to her about it, she mentioned how learning Italian would be good for me in Italy.  (Rome, exactly).  She gave me a few compliments and made my week, seriously! I love Italian and to hear compliments about it is amazing.  Anyway, I talked with Alanna, study abroad information guru and I got lots of information.  Long story short, the opportunity is incredible.  When talking with Alanna, I still was 50-50 on it but now, I've visited the website like 2039480348 times and keep planning everything.  I am still worried about a few things but, y'all, wouldn't it be amazing? Or wait Amyzing? (My new nickname! Haha, thanks Mickey!) Well, anyway, please cross your fingers for everything to work out (especially financially).
-I feel I've been rambling but this was major news so it needed to be shared.
-I wish y'all good luck on finals! Almost there!
✭✮✯Whoa, before I forget, SIGNS.  The conversation with my Italian/Spanish teacher happened Wednesday and I got so many signs that day and some yesterday and one today.  If you know me, you know how I'm very big on signs.  I've seen two stockings with my mom's name on them in different restaurants, I see them as signs from my mom telling me she's okay.  So on Wednesdays I had two salads.  One, at this Starbucks on campus, weird, yeah, anyway, THE ONLY DRESSING THEY HAD WAS ITALIAN DRESSING.  Hello! Sign! Later that night, Katie and I went to a restaurant and they gave me ITALIAN DRESSING!!!  We saw videos in my Video Production class and they mentioned Italians and the Jersey Shore, but the focus was on the ITALIANS, it was about online dating and the risks or whatever (it was comedic) and one of them was supposed to be Italian!  Yesterday, when I talked to Alanna she gave me names of people that went there or are there right now.  The names ALFONSO and CASEY have meaning because my mom almost married an Alfonso (her true love) and Casey (pronounced like a "k") was my mom's assumed nickname for me, my middle name is Cassandra and she thought people would call me Casey.  So bam! signs!  Last night, I was on Pinterest looking at pictures of Rome when I saw this one right above.  "GO TO ROME"? I mean, come on! It's a sign!  Today, at the Symposium, TWO ITALIAN MEN came to our booth and even spoke a bit of Italian, it was hard to hear because they weren't speaking loudly but it was something about research.
-So, there you have it.  Signs. Pretty important to me.  Haha.   Momma would be proud of me for everything that happened this week.  So much, I can't even write it in here.  I'm loving these signs too!
-IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!!!! ♥

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday to Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday ♫

A lot of stuff has happened. List time!

-Monday was weird. I cried right around lunch time, it was one of those depressing ones, and plus I wasn't hungry because I was worried about this one midterm I took.  I didn't even eat lunch.  I am glad to say though I have been doing well today!
-Ohh! I got the highest test grade in my Italian class!
-Acting has been EXTREMELY fun! What else is new? Oh, btw I'm still looking for the right monologue, this was one is a toughie.
-BIG BLOG NEWS: For my writing for the media class, we are starting a new a blogging assignment, meaning I will use this blog for that.  The assignment is to write about pretty much anything, as long as it shows growth because we'll be writing a feature story after.  I have decided to write about starting new, starting fresh.  Since my mom has passed, this will be a new beginning, life without my awesome little momma but it will be about finding the good things in life, about healing, about doing new things that would've scared me in the past and stuff I know my mom would have wanted to do.  (Example A: Today at Olive Garden I got a raspberry lemonade, I would have never done that before, granted, they didn't have normal lemonade, so I had to get that one, but I tried it and it was DELICIOUS!) Do y'all catch my drift? These blogs will be 2 a week for 5 weeks so it will be for a while but I will try to write these kinds of posts also.
-My sessions with Dr. Tucker and Jana have been going very well, each time I leave the office it's like I feel like I've talked with my mom about how I'm doing, it's really nice.
-I have a TON of stuff to do but my aunt is helping me a lot.
-This past Sunday I went with some friends to Barnes and Noble (to celebrate a friend's birthday) and I got some books! One was a dream dictionary (in english, because I mentioned a long while ago my mom had a spanish one) and I got a book with inspirational quotes and stuff.
-Thursday and Friday of this week is fall break! Yey! I'm on fall break already!
-VERY IMPORTANT NEWS: I got an iPhone 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been wanting an iPhone since they first came out but we had Sprint and now Sprint has iPhones!!! I am beyond excited to have this phone! It's gorgeous!
-LOVELY NEWS: Today I went to go see the family my mom and I had at the oncologist's office, it was absolutely wonderful.  You'd think that I would have been depressed because of what happened in that office but it was nice seeing everybody, the only person that wasn't there was the nurse practitioner but hopefully I will see her soon! I cannot describe to y'all how beautiful it was to see them again.  Now, I can share wonderful events going on in my life! I'm excited about the future again.  My momma must be so proud.
-I found two dresses for work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are gorgeous, oh and I got a bag from Ross too, oh and a fedora! Excitement all around.  Oh and I got a magnificent scarf from another store!

-I may be missing stuff but I got the good stuff.
-I hope y'all are doing well! Thanks for reading.

6.

[6 Places]

1. New York, New York.  Love this city.  Love it.  When I went there during my sophomore year I fell in love with it even more.  I cannot even describe to you my love for this city, it's insane.  I cried when we got back on the bus to come back home.  I love the people, the methods of transportation, the food, the city in general.  Oh dear, I love NY.

2.  Target.  I know this is more local and it's not a city but I love love love Target.  I know I'm not the only one with this problem, but every single time I go there to get something small I end up getting like 5 times the amount of stuff I intended to get. I love that place!!!

3.  London, England.  I want to go there because I love their accents. I know, that sounds really dumb but what can I say? I love it.  I also love the history there and I would love to experience a different culture.

4.  Paris, France.  I want to go there because I want to see the Eiffel Tower and many more attractions there.  I would also love to experience the culture and hear true French-speakers speaking French.  

5. Italy.  Pretty much anywhere in Italy.  I want to go there.  I'm currently learning Italian because I love the language and Italians seem very friendly and welcoming so I would love to be able to go to Italy and interact with Italians.  

6.  Greece.  Anywhere in Greece.  I want to go to visit because I love their food and music.  I want to experience the culture and just see Greece. 

Random: It's been exactly 1 year today that my mom and I got in the car accident that caused my mom's humerus fracture.  Since that day, things have been pretty crazy.  Please pray that my mom will get chemo this coming tuesday and that things get better and we figure everything out.  

10.

[10 secrets]

1. I find it pretty easy to remember people's last names.  It's kinda useless information though (for the most part).

2. I wear socks, like all the time, unless I'm wearing shoes that don't require socks.  But like, for example, I NEVER walk barefoot.

3.  Which brings me to this secret.  I don't like sand, or beaches for that matter.  When I was younger, my mom took me to the beach a few times and she had to carry a bucket of water to rinse the sand off of my feet.  I would stop walking because I didn't like the feeling of sand in between my toes (still don't.) 

4.  I'm an only child but I'm not a brat. :)

5. I don't like sweets. Chocolate, Cake, Cookies.  Not a big fan.  I'll have 'em maybe once every few months but I don't really care for them.

6. I secretly wish I was Italian, Greek, British, Asian, or Black.  Weird, I know.  That would be cool if I had any ancestors with this kind of heritage. :) (I'm Hispanic by the way)

7. I don't HATE anyone.  I strongly dislike people but I don't hate anyone.  I feel it takes too much negative energy to hate anyone.

8. I've always wanted an older brother.  My mom had  3 miscarriages (4 babies) before she had me.  She calls me her "miracle child"because I am the only one that made it.  She lost (I believe) four babies.  The first was a baby boy, then twins, then another baby.

9.  I get really overwhelmed and stressed when making big purchases.  (For example: We got a washer and dryer that my aunt and uncle are taking care of but during the process of buying it, I started getting really REALLY hot and nervous.  I don't do well with it. Of course, after the purchase is done, I'm okay and then I start getting excited.)

10.  I want to marry into a BIG family.

This was fun. :)

Oh! Quick update: We have until October 3rd at this skilled nursing facility!

Please keep prayin' for my momma.
Thanks.

Mi chiamo Amy.

This will be a pretty short post because I've still got a few things to do but…

TODAY WAS MY FIRST DAY OF MY 2ND YEAR IN COLLEGE!

Here is a summary of my day:

1st class: Italian! 

-So excited to finally be taking Italian.  I have the teacher I had my junior year in high school so it's nice seeing a familiar face and she's really nice.

-There are like 20 girls in my class and 2 guys. Haha.

-We already started learning stuff.

-I am so excited to start learning more stuff.

2nd class: Country Western Dance!

-So fun because my friend Deidra is in it, it would have been kind of awkward not knowing anybody in it.

-We had fun learning the different elements of ballroom dancing (I think, or maybe it was only Country Western dancing).  

-It was so much fun!!!

-The teacher is nice. :)

3rd class: Choir!

-Nice getting back to a familiar place.

-A whole lotta new people.

-Weird thought knowing that I'm not a freshman anymore.

-Really fun!

-Teacher is still really nice. :)

4th class: (After lunch) Beginning Acting!

-This class is for MAJORS but I need to take it because minors also need to take it.  Not gonna lie, a bit scared, these people are SO talented!

-We have to present one of our monologues in class, I'm scared that my classical monologue isn't as classical as Shakespeare and that maybe everybody else chose Shakespeare.

-We have to audition for the play so my time is 5:40pm.  Wish me luck!

-I have the monologues down, it's just that I'm a bit worried.

-It looks like it's going to be a good class.

-I've had the teacher before and he's also really nice. :)

5th class: (last one on Mondays) Writing for the Media!

-The teacher was surprisingly really nice and laid back.  She even made a joke that Dora the Explorer was the best thing that happened to her because now she tells kids her name is Dora and they look at her in amazement. Pretty funny stuff.

-She did say the first 6 weeks are going to be the hardest. I'm just hoping everything will be manageable.

-The teacher is really nice. :)

I'm probably missing out but I just wanted to write it down before I forgot most of it. :)

My mom is doing okay, it's weird not being here when she's in therapy though.  Please keep praying, she'll get labs done tomorrow and then chemo on thursday.  

Thank you! I hope y'all had a great first day too! :)

Something New

So I've seen this around and I've decided to "link up" with Jaime and tell y'all What I'm Loving Wednesday.  I hope to do this every Wednesday of course, so here it goes!

1. I'm loving that I got a haircut!!! I hadn't been there in a VERY long time.  Really, now that I think about it, it's been since before summer started and my hair grows freakishly fast, so it's been a very long time.  It was past my shoulders and now it's right above. I'm very happy. Oh and I also loved my mom's reaction when I showed her. :)

I usually smile in all my pictures but in the other one, my hair didn't look as nice & shiny.

2. I'm loving that I went to Walgreens today and just bought a whole bunch of amazing things.  

3. I'm loving that my mom had a good day today.  

4. I'm loving that today is Wednesday which means…

Dance Moms

I'm loving this awkward picture.

5. I'm loving that I already memorized my monologues!!!

6. I'm loving this new template/design for my blog!

7. I'm loving that we are so close to getting into the apartment.

8. I'm loving that I'm also so close to starting to learn Italian!!!!

9. I'm loving Pinterest. [Here are some things I found:]

10. I'm loving this "What I'm Loving Wednesday" thing.  

Please keep praying for momma! Thank you!

Tre.Due.Uno.

I recently got my books for school and I have already started to learn Italian!! I'm so pumped to begin learning more and more and more!!! Ahh! This would be the first language that I learn on my own.  When I was 4 my mom and I moved to Mexico because my mom was born there and pretty much all of our family is there.  Anyway, I learned Spanish kinda fast because my mom spoke it since I was born so moving to Mexico was just a chance for me to also improve my Spanish.  I am also glad that there are so many similarities between Spanish and Italian.  :)

[The Italian flag.]

Really quick.  My mom went into the hospital a little while ago and then got released and now we are back at the skilled nursing facility.  I won't go too much into depth because those were SERIOUSLY rough times and I got super overwhelmed that I didn't want to do anything.  So here's an update: My mom is doing well.  We are taking everything day by day, praying and thanking God for everything, she is doing okay in therapy, she had had an infection and was dehydrated.  She got lots of antibiotics, she got another transfusion, she got plenty of other meds.  She will start the second round of the chemo next thursday.  Please pray that this chemo works really well and keeps working for a very long time.  Thank you. ***Here is a link to a note I wrote when everything was pretty bad, things are better, thanks to God, but prayers are still always very very welcome.***

Okay, back to other things.  We are *this* close to moving into a new apartment!!!! The one we are currently renting will not be a good one to return to because since my mom is now wheelchair-bound, she won't be able to climb the stairs.  So my aunt, my mom and I had started looking for apartments a while ago but things got too crazy.  Anyway, these are apartments for people that use wheelchairs, walkers and such but it's pretty great. We will be on the first floor in apartment 3110. :) These apartments are close to one of my mom's favorite mexican restaurants, they are close to the Humane Society :), and close to one of the local television stations, oh and there is a Super Target pretty close as well. They are pretty amazing, we just need to send them a couple of papers, then my mom needs to go and sign some stuff and then…HELLO KEYS!!! Oh, and there is one minor detail missing, I need to finish packing.  Yeah, pretty important part but things got too crazy, like I said, so my priorities were rearranged.  We are both very excited to start getting things rolling, even if my mom is still in the skilled nursing facility.

Other things:
-I finished my summer class with an A+ :)))
-Work is going well.
-School is just around the corner!!! Aaah.
-Wish me luck finding the perfect monologues, thanks.
-I can't believe school is almost here, that means Fall shows are almost here!!! :))) [Grey's Anatomy and Parenthood] Yepee!
-I got a Pinterest. You can find it [here.]

Acting and Italian

Okay so first of all: My mom is doing very well! :) Yey! Although her white blood cells are a bit low, it's just a sign that the chemo is killing some cells (hopefully more bad ones than good ones) but she is doing pretty good.  Also, I finally had my first lab in Anatomy and Physiology I and it was kind of interesting, it wasn't too bad.  Today in acting we finally presented ourselves as our partners, and I would say that it went  well, I wore boy basketball shorts and a big t-shirt, it felt super weird, but I think I got the message across that my partner is into sports.  That was pretty fun.  Next class we are going to watch the video of us acting as the other person, can you say AWKARD? Anyway, I hope it's not so bad.  I really enjoy that class. :)

Okay so I REALLY REALLY want to learn Italian, especially since I have become semi-obsessed with this show called "Cake Boss" on TLC, I just want to be able to speak Italian because it sounds so interesting and I love the bond that Italians have with one another and I could speak with them in Hoboken one day-Buddy and his Cake Boss peeps :)

Well this is a pretty short blog post but I wanted to write sooner that last time so I wouldn't have this ginormous blog post with lots of text so I will keep these short and simple. :)

I think that's it for now.  Thank you for reading. Please keep praying that my momma's chemo continues to work.  <3

P.S. I am looking for a job! Crazy, I know.  I have applied to Starbucks and this Mexican Restaurant close by, so cross your fingers*.  (I love the smell of coffee <3, random, I know.)