Growing Inspiration

I've been meaning to blog for a very long time but things keep getting in the way. So here are just a few things that have occurred that haven't been mentioned are very worthy to be put in this blog.

I have now officially closed my old bank account.

Can you say "grown up"?

I had switched to Chase but needed to get stuff settled with my older bank

I had been using this old bank since I was about 16 years old and it was bittersweet to close that account when it feels like yesterday I was there with my mom and my aunt.

I have to admit though, it was nice to switch to Chase and start new. It felt amazing.

Mickey and I attended a gala at our university for our Comm Arts dept!

I assisted with several things, it was insane but in the end, it was wonderful!

Mickey has a job with the radio station on campus!! So proud of my talented man!

I helped set up this promotion event with one of our local tv stations! :)

Just a few Comm Arts peeps!

I got a full-length picture of what I wore! (Which was the same outfit I wore for Valentine's Day!) Hoorah! A picture was taken! And yes, I'm an outfit repeater. Lizzie McGuire and I share that. ;)

Also, I've come to the conclusion that because my college career is nearing it's end [Yikes], I'm starting to feel overwhelmed and pressured about my future. I had mentioned it a while ago but I feel like I haven't found my niche. Lately, I've been seeing lots of talented individuals go on to further their careers by enrolling in grad school and doing so much. 

I hate to admit it but I compare myself to people and I sometimes feel like I'm not doing enough. Like, I'm not where I think I should be. Granted, I shouldn't beat myself up but I can't just keep thinking this without doing something. 

So, I know that my schedule is crazy busy but I have consciously started to make an effort to be better at everything. To improve on everything. I'm going to try harder and harder because I know what I want for my future and I know that it'll take work but it will be so worth it. 

I found this quote that I absolutely fell in love with by Maya Angelou.

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. 
 Life's a *itch.  You've got to go out and kick a**."

I mean, dang! Ain't that the truth. I want to be THAT girl. 

Tomorrow's schedule:
{class}
{Sports broadcast-Yours truly is one of the anchors!}
{Big Law and the Media test...dun dun dun.}

And come thursday evening...
spring break. spring break. spring break. 
!!!!!

Excitement awaits. 

Advanced Acting & Writing the Script

So, I wanted to update y'all on the first day of the new semester after that very vague post yesterday. Haha :)

7:15am.

Got up and showered and got ready for school.

I was SO not awake. 

 I'm not a morning person and neither is Mickey 

and we somehow ended up with 9am classes Monday-Thursday. Yikes. 

9am. 

Advanced Acting class!

Loved it! I'm so excited!

Mickey and I love this teacher, we've both had him before so we were excited to have a class with him.

I'm so excited to show my monologues (which he said we'll do Wednesday) 

YEPEE! 

We got scenes!! :)

Let's just say, this is a wonderful way to start Monday mornings.  

It's gonna be a hard but super fun class. I'm pumped!

10:15am. 

Mickey and I were done with our first class! 

We ate and took a nap until our next one. 

We got to visit our fellow Comm Arts people and it was so nice to be back home with these kids. 

 I'm sure gonna miss them when we graduate. 

3pm.

Writing the Script class!

Loved it! I'm so excited!

We've also both had this teacher before but we haven't had her 

together for the same class in a long time and we love her too!

She described what we'll be doing in that class and I just got so excited!! 

That class is gonna be amazing, I can't wait.

4:30ish pm. 

Mickey and I went to ihop to celebrate our first day.

  I was tired and a bit nervous about a new semester

 starting but he always has a way of 

cheering me up and making me happy.

 I mean, just look at that smile!

 He's freaking amazing. 

{Isn't it funny how ihop and iPhone both have the "i" thing going on? 

Random thing I noticed, haha.} 

We spent the rest of the day playing on his iPad and reading a play for our class. 

We have so much fun doing homework together.  We're such cool kids.  

Tomorrow:

Play Analysis

TV Practicum

Law and the Media {cue scary music...dun dun dun!}

I will keep y'all posted! I'm glad I got to relieve some stress by writing.  I woke up this morning thinking about how I was starting yet another semester without my momma and I got sad.  I know she's watching me from heaven cheering me on as I start my last spring semester of my undergrad career.  And I know just how proud she'll be once I graduate as the first college graduate in my family. 

 Thank you for guiding me in the right direction and for raising me to be such a strong girl. 

 I love you mommy. ♥

Hope y'all had a great first day back as well! 

2012

Well, as with many bloggers out there, I feel it's super important to 

recap the year in a post, so here's my attempt to do so!

{I'll be focusing on happy things}

January: 

-Found the second love of my life...

ZUMBA

-Went to my first nightclub!

-Got dental implant!

-Stopped drinking soda!

-Filmed stuff for Eventually Cool!

Spooky Singles

February:

-Saw Kelly Clarkson in concert for the second time!!!

-Went to G-ton with some friends!

Our first picture together, before we got together.  haha.  

-Got confirmed!

March:

-Went to visit family in the Valley!

-Got together with the love of my life-Mickey!!! {03.18.12}

Our first date.  Downtown. 3.25.12 :)

April:

-Celebrated Easter with Mickey's family!

-Got inducted into Alpha Chi 

(Honor Society for Upperclassmen)

With Deidra!!

-Filed taxes all by myself!

May:

-Sang in the Baccalaureate Mass!

-Discovered my love for raspberries, blueberries & blackberries!

-Turned 20!

-Learned to drive on highways!

June:

-Started working at Cracker Barrel = Good cash flow for the summer. 

-Went to festival with Mickey! 

-Filmed stuff for Eventually Cool!

July:

-Went to Sara's wedding in New Hampshire!

-Saw a quick glimpse of Harvard!

-Flew on my own back home!

-Lost a total of 20 pounds! 

August:

-Went to Sydney's wedding (as a bridesmaid) with Mickey in Tampa! 

Weight loss for both of us!

-Became classified as a college senior!

-Started 5th semester of college!

September:

-Went swing dancing with Mickey!

-Celebrated Mickey's parents' 23rd anniversary!

-Mickey and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary! 

-Tried and enjoyed Creme Brulee!

October:

-Filmed my first PSA!

-Mickey and I volunteered with the Diabetes Walk (JDRF)

-Zombie Walk & our first Halloween together!

November:

-Voted in my first presidential election!

-Dia de los Muertos Festivities!

-Went to Vegan Restaurant!

-Went and filmed/took pictures of a quince as Mickey's assistant!

-Celebrated Mickey's 21st Birthday!

-Celebrated Thanksgiving with Mickey's family (& my aunt and uncle separately)

December:

-Participated in first 48-Hour Film Festival!

-Mickey and I decorated our first Christmas tree together!

-Went to Portland, OR and Vancouver, WA

SAW SNOW FOR THE FIRST TIME!

(& snow tubed, saw Pacific Ocean, went to the Northwest! and faced my fear of heights)

I guess you could say that this year treated me very well.  I know my momma 

would be very proud of how I'm doing.  I still can't believe I lived a whole year without my mom, 2012 was lived without her here.  A part of me is freakishly proud and another part of me is extremely sad.  I had a lot of firsts this year and I wish I could have shared those with her but for now, I'll just know she's watching me from above sharing those moments with me.  

I can't believe I'm 20, or that I found the most amazing guy in the world, or that I saw snow this year, or that I even had two jobs for 5 months while taking on a full course load at school.  I'm just blessed and thankful to God and my sweet momma for all the blessings they've given me and even though we lost some loved ones this year,  I know they're in heaven having a blast.  

So, thank you 2012 for being much better for me than 2011 was. 

Thank you for my loved ones.  Here's to 2013 being even better! 

I can't wait for all that is to come!

I know I'll certainly be ringing it in with some of my favorite people! ;)

The Memory of Steel Magnolias

So this blog post title is an amalgamation of The Memory of Water (my favorite play) and Steel Magnolias.  :)

Here's the story:

So last fall I was in search of a monologue that would really be good for me.  I was taking my Beginning Acting class and we needed to have a monologue and so I began the search.  I found one but it wasn't up to par with what I had hoped for.  I went and took a trip to my Beginning Acting teacher's office and asked him for his help.  He came up with a few options.  Three Days of Rain, Steel Magnolias and The Memory of Water.  He had a copy of The Memory of Water and felt that was the best one for me.  I read it so fast, it was so interesting and I could relate to it so well! If you know me, you know I'm not a fan of reading, I know, it's sad, so reading this play so fast was a sign of how much I loved it.  It's about sisters dealing with their mother's death.  But guys, it's so much better than that! Anyway, I did it for my monologue and it went very well. I absolutely loved it and still have the copy of the monologue I made.  

"What is it with men?  I mean, I don’t have a problem with men or anything.  I love men.  I’ve been to bed with seventy-eight of them, I counted, so obviously there’s not a problem or anything, it’s just he didn’t even apologise or anything and how can he say on the phone he doesn’t want to see me anymore?  I mean, why now?  Why couldn’t he have waited?  I don’t know what to do, why does it always go wrong?  I don’t want to be on my own, I’m not that sort of person, and I can’t do it.  I did everything for him, I was patient and all the things you’re supposed to be and people kept saying don’t accept this from him, don’t accept that, like, you know, when he stayed out all night, not very often, I mean once or twice, and everyone said to tell him to **** off but how could I because what if he did?  Because they all do, everyone I’ve ever met does, they all disappear and I don’t know if it’s me or what.  I don’t want to be on my own, I can’t stand it, I know it’s suppose to be great but I don’t think it is.  I can’t help it, it’s no good pretending, it’s ******* lonely and I can’t bear it. "

So, guys, y'all won't believe it but my university is doing The Memory of Water in the Spring!!! So, I had it in my heart to audition.  So, here I go, auditioning for only the second time at my university. I think I've improved enough and I'm so glad to have this opportunity. December 5th 9:20pm! Wish me luck. 

Here's the other story:

I picked a M'Lynn's monologue about Shelby from Steel Magnolias.  I am undecided between two but I believe I'm going to chose this one. I absolutely love Steel Magnolias even though it makes me cry.  I remember watching it for the second time when my mom was in hospice and I surprised myself by not crying.  As a young southern gal, I feel a strong connection with these ladies and I feel doing this monologue will be absolutely wonderful.  I have so many memories of watching this movie with my mom and I know that this is a really good choice for a monologue.  So, wish me luck as I begin memorizing lines.  I'll update y'all on other things about theatre soon! :)

"No.  I couldn’t leave my Shelby.  It’s interesting.  Both the boys were very difficult births.  I almost died when Jonothan was born.  Very difficult births.  Shelby was a breeze.  I could’ve gone home that afternoon I had her.  I was thinking about that as I sat next to Shelby while she was in the coma.  I would work her legs and arms to keep the circulation going.  I told the ICU nurse we were doing our Jane Fonda.  I stayed there.  I kept pushing…….just like I always did where Shelby was concerned……..hoping she’d sit up and argue with me.  But finally we realised that there was no hope.  At that point I panicked.  I was very afraid that I would not survive the next few minutes while they turned off the machines.  Drum couldn’t take it.  He left.  Jackson couldn’t take it.  He left.  It struck me as amusing.  Men are supposed to be made of steel or something.  But I could not leave.  I just sat there…..holding Shelby’s hand while the sounds got softer and the beeps got farther apart until all was quiet.  There was no noise, no tremble…..just peace.  I realised as a woman how lucky I was.  I was there when this wonderful person drifted into my life and I was there when she drifted out.  It was the most precious moment of my life." 

Numb.

One year ago today (Sept. 16, 2011) my mom and I were basically told she was dying.  We didn't know how long she had but we realized her time had become increasingly limited.  I won't go into the details of this because I feel writing it will only make certain things worse. Just know that I've already told one person pretty much exactly what happened.  Here's what happened today, 2012.

I went to work at Cracker Barrel and got a good amount of tips which helped me pay for gas and buy college-style groceries and even watch Finding Nemo on 3D, which leads me to my next point.

I remember watching Finding Nemo with my mom and her friend back from middle school in Mexico, I call her my Tia Lety.  Anway, we had gotten to the movie theatre a bit late and the only spots available were a bit scattered.  I sat next to my mom and my Tia Lety sat close-by kind of.  I remember really liking the movie but that's about it.  Today some of us went to watch it in 3D, throughout the movie, I kept getting random flashbacks of my mom and how she did anything and everything in her power to make me happy.  Not spoil me, but make me happy.  She would have swam the ocean if that meant finding me.  I don't know if any of this makes sense but it all just got too overwhelming when the movie finished.

I cannot exactly described what happened except that I was breathing heavily and my hands were tingly and felt kind of like they did when my mom and I were in the hospital when we were given the news.  Everything just gave me a big flashback of everything and it became too much.  We were there with two other people and I just basically needed to get out of the movie theatre.  Mickey was a definite help as I was having an emotional breakdown right outside.  Everything became so numb.  I guess these next 10 days are just another big bulletin board reminding me every second of every day that my mom isn't here anymore and it sucks, you know? I just hit a low today but I know things will get better.  I am my mother's daughter after all.

I remember all the times when I didn't think my mom and I could do it.  That we thought, how is this even possible? And then thinking, myself, once my mom passed how I could even get back to "normal" (whatever that was) again.  And here I am now.  God really does give his toughest battles to his toughest soldiers.  I know I can do this. I know I'm not alone and I know that the worst is behind me.  I know that although a year ago today, my world was changed, that doesn't mean that I won't eventually be okay.  I will be.  I will.  Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow.  But things will get better.  They will.  I just need to leave it up to God and trust in him and everything my mom ever taught me.

So, here I embark on the next 10 days as September 26 comes.  I can do this.  I can.  I'm my mother's daughter.

One more thing, I wanted to say thank you for all of those of you who went that friday, September 16, 2011 to the hospital.  It meant the world to have people there supporting us.  Also, thank you to all of those of you who prayed for us and helped us in any other way.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Growing Up

I have absolutely no idea how a month can just fly by like that! It's insane, I know! But, here's to catching up on all of the highlights!

I've been trying new things and I've grown up in many ways since I last blogged (right after my birthday).  Here's a list:

1.  I drive on highways now! If you know me, you know that I've never been a fan of highways because I don't trust people and their driving skills and putting speed into the mix used to a fear of mine especially since I learned how to drive in about eight hours.  Long story short, I drive on highways now! My special someone helped me with it and I could not be more thankful! <3

2. I am now a server at Cracker Barrel! That's right, yours truly now has TWO JOBS.  Trust me guys, I really don't recommend it because I work 6/7 days of the week and it's very exhausting.  Two jobs along with two summer classes is insane but I've only got one more week and then I'm done with classes (until August 20).  But like I was saying, yup! I'm a server.  Tips have been pretty good.  I was just looking to get some extra cash so I could save for Rome (still crossing my fingers) and for one day moving to my future home, those of you who know me know where that is.  :)

3.  I've flown on a plane on my own! My aunt and uncle and I went up to New Hampshire for my aunt's niece's wedding.  It was absolutely beautiful!  We also visited the area around.  It was nice! On the way back, I was a bit nervous at first but I just flew on my own and everything! ALL THE WAY FROM NEW HAMPSHIRE! Living in the south, that's a lot! :)

It's crazy how much I've grown up since December and obviously since my mom's passing in late September.  I try new things like nobody's business.  I think like an adult 95% of the time and I'm always trying to save money.  It's insane.  

I believe my sweet momma is proud of me and happy that I've become a semi-adult.  I mean, I'm only 20.  :)

Happy Mother's Day Momma!

SO TRUE.

So, one of the most important holidays (in my book) has officially started.  Mothers Day.  My mom and I also celebrated Mother's Day in Mexico (May 10 every year) but this past May 10 was very crazy, so I will definitely make it a point to celebrate today! I wanted to just brag out my mom for a while and end with a letter (just like on her birthday post).

So here's the deal.  I know we all brag about our momma's but seriously mine was as good as they come.  She was one heck of a woman.  I mean from day one, when after all the miscarriages she had had prior to me, she found out I was actually going to make it.  She was going to have a baby.  She had complications through the pregnancy, and she went through everything to get me. We're talking shots and craziness.  Once she had me, I became her world.  She worked three jobs to put food on the table, she never complained.  She was one tough cookie.  Yet, her generosity, kindness and gentleness were immensely apparent as she raised me.  She NEVER spanked me or hit me.  NOTHING.  I'm not trying to make it sound like I was one spoiled kid either. She disciplined me when necessary and all but she did it so well, no cuss words were ever thrown around.  As I got older, she became my friend.  Even as a teenager, we maintained the bond that so many mothers and daughters wish they had.  We went out and did girly things, we had our traditions.  We were each others best friends.  When she got sick, our friendship grew and we became like sisters as well.  We were each others rock.  In short, because it would take a whole book to describe the immense gratitude and love I have for my mother, my mom was one funny, smart, motherly, feisty, gentle, do-anything-for-her-child, sweet, honest, brave, strong, wise, know-exactly-what-to-say-when-to-say-it, BEST HUGGER, adventurous, always-work-for-more-never-settle, eager, excited for life, best friend-sister-mother combo, I-will-always-love-you, best-person-I-ever-had-the-pleasure-of-meeting kind of woman.  If I grow up to be even half the woman she was, I know I will have been successful.

So, for the letter.

Dear Ma/Momma/Mommy/Mamasita,

    HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! I hope this Mother's Day is especially wonderful because you get to spend it with your mom as well! Please tell her hi for me! Thanks! Well, so for Mother's Day, I wanted to make sure and do something nice for you, so we are going out to eat, I don't know where yet but I will make sure to eat something you would have wanted to eat! Also, you are welcome to read the above paragraph.  :) It's all true.  I want to tell you so much more and all that good stuff but I should leave some of it for the book that I will write about you.  Remember? I didn't forget mama. :)

    Thank you for being such a fantastic, wonderful, amazing, magnificent mom to me.  I know you are still watching over me and will be guiding me the rest of my life.  It's nice to know I have a guardian angel.  Haha. The first time I wrote "angel" I accidentally wrote "angle", well, you probably saw that.  :) Thank you for being my mom and for giving me the strength and wisdom to do everything.  I will continue to make you proud and try new things.  I will do so much momma, you will amazed!

    So, lastly, mamasita.  Te quiero mucho! I'm practicing my Spanish more (I know you would be happy about that, haha) and I will work hard and live my life to the fullest.  I love you with all my heart baby and I hope you have a heavenly Mother's Day sweet momma! I LOVE YOU!!!!

Love, forever your daughter and best friend, 

Amy

Raspberries & Avengers & Mass

So, BIG NEWS.  I just found out like three days ago that I absolutely LOVE raspberries! It's crazy because I've always thought raspberries and blueberries tasted weird because I just assumed but I finally had the guts to try them.  My aunt had gotten raspberries and blueberries on her recent trip to the grocery store and so I thought it would be a good idea to try them.  Oh my goodness guys! Raspberries are SO much better than any other fruit.  Blueberries are really good too but they pretty much taste exactly like grapes to me.  Which reminds me, I had like 115 calories left for the day today and I had strawberries, green grapes, blueberries and raspberries.  FRUIT OVERLOAD.  So good though.  I guess it's a sure sign of summer!  Seriously guys though, they are amazing.  Try them if you haven't! Also, blueberries and raspberries have potassium! That's always good. My mom would be so happy I am still trying new things!

-So. AVENGERS. THE AVENGERS.  Seriously amazing guys. I strongly recommend y'all watch it.  I mean, c'mon, it's a Joss Whedon baby.  Need I say more? It's got a mix of action, adventure, comedy and so much more.  I loved it! I loved seeing it with my special someone too! It was his second time. :)

-I sang at the Baccalaureate Mass today and that was really fun.  It was interesting because it took place in the same venue where my high school graduation was.  It's crazy how time flies by, it's been about two years since I graduated from high school! TWO YEARS! And in about a year and a half, I'll be graduating from college.  I'll be the first in my family to attend and graduate from college.  Insane.  It got me thinking about my future and all, even more than I do already. It was nice though.

Hope y'all have a good day! Good luck with finals and such! Thanks for reading.

Happy Birthday Sweet Momma

One of my birthdays.  She looks so happy. 

April 26.  1:30am-ish.  Exactly when my mom was born.

Today is my mom's birthday.  I say "is" because it will always be her birthday, even if she isn't here next to me.  I have this idea in my head of how birthdays are in heaven.  I imagine a whole bunch of happiness and laughter and food.  Maybe no presents because angels don't really need material things like that.  The present is being in heaven.  I mean, I know that's exactly where I want to go when I die (when I'm old, saggy and wrinkly). I strongly believe birthdays in heaven are the bomb diggity.

So, for today's schedule (since it's after midnight), I have class, then I have to hang theatrical lights, then I have the Alpha Chi Induction.  I guess it's a good thing I'll be busy.  I want to definitely do something my mom would have done.  I'm still thinking of what.  In the meantime, I wanted to write this letter to my momma wishing her happy birthday. So here it goes:

Dear Momma,

I LOVE YOU! AND... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MOMMA/MOMMY/MAMA/MAAAAA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! ( I am singing this to you in my head, as you can tell).  I wanted to tell you happy birthday from your very lucky daugther! I hope you are having a blast in heaven with everyone! Please say hi to grandma and my brothers and sisters for me! (Oh and any famous people you're friends with!) Thank you!  I hope that today you spend a lot of time relaxing and enjoying your day because it is your day.  I will do many things today you would have loved to do, I'm just still thinking of what but I know you'll guide me.  Also, the Alpha Chi inductions, isn't that great? I'm so excited to wear the new dress I got, the one on clearance.  Well, anyway, I also wanted to say thank you for making me brave and strong.  I know we have the same genes so that aids a lot but your parenting also strengthened that.

Okie dokie mommy, I'm gonna let you go and have some crazy fun with all the angels and Jesus! Hope today is an absolutely wonderful day for you! I love you from the bottom of my heart and miss you tons!

P.S. You're welcome to come in my dreams.

Love,

forever your daughter,

Amy

   

M.I.A.

Recycling.

So I've realized I've been missing in action for about a month.  I guess I just needed a break from blogging because everything has been in fast forward since I last blogged.  But, here are the highlights.  Oh and I will try to blog more frequently.

-I was invited to join Alpha Chi which is an honor society for juniors and seniors!!! I'm pretty freaking proud of this accomplishment because I know my mom would've been so proud of me.  Oh, and the inductions? Yeah, those will be held on my mom's birthday.  Coincidence? I think not.
-It's been 6 months and four days since I've lost my mom and today I had a meltdown.  A GINORMOUS one.  One of those super draining ones, yeah, it was pretty bad.  I was expecting it to be at the 6th month mark but I guess it was delayed.  Sometimes, it really hits me how alone I am.  Don't get me wrong, I have friends and such but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't want my mom here.
-Last week, in my Intro to Technical Production class, we had to climb really high up to look at some technical aspects of theatre and oh my goodness, that was scary! Another thing, I killed a bug in my room like two days ago.  Another tremendous accomplishment for Amy! My mom would've been freaking proud.
-School will be over in about a month and I'm SO BEYOND EXCITED!  I'm not gonna lie, this has been one of my less favorite semesters.  I'm looking forward to the Fall 2012 semester so I can get back to acting! :)))
-Speaking of which, in my Video Production II class, we filmed our "How-To" videos and that was nice. I was director this time which was kind of empowering but the fun part was actually helping a friend and her group out.  I was one of their talents and oh dear! It was SO MUCH FUN!!! I basically did a semi-Good-Morning-America-esque kind of a segment. It was live for class so it was way fun! I love being in front of the camera :)

I think that's it for now.  I'm missing a lot but I will keep y'all more updated. :)

I can't even begin

I can't even begin to tell y'all how many times I've wanted to blog but just get too tired.  So, I'm definitely glad I am able to blog! :)

-I got a 96 on my Italian II test!
-I went out of town with my friends last weekend and I had so much fun! There was this festival and everything there! I went on different rides which is so amazing because I usually don't really go on rides, even these baby ones, because I get too scared but I did it! I went on rides that scared me at first and I don't regret a thing! Thank you Katie, Dominic, Mickey and everyone else for such a fun time!
-Valentine's Day was three days ago.  It was kind of the same old kind of day for me.  Katie and I decided to go to a restaurant though because it was our "fat day" as we like to call it when we can pig out (based on this semi-diet thing) and we did but we got some awkward stares.  Haha. It was fun though because we had some GOOD food.
-We are all (for the most part) still trying to be healthy. I'm hopeful.
-My confirmation is this sunday! My mom would be so happy and proud of me. I'm glad I'm doing this because it feels good.
-I've decided to see Dr. Tucker every two weeks now, instead of every week.  Of course, a few days after I made that decision and told him, I had a meltdown, but all is well now.
-I've begun to teach conversational Spanish! At the moment I have 1.5 jobs so it's improvement.
-My friends and I are working on producing different skits and it's making me SO HAPPY. I have no words to describe how much I love acting. :)
-I've made huge strides and I'm frickin proud of myself for that.  I feel my mom is too.

Way too much to catch up on!

Here are the highlights from December 23-January 1:

-We left at around 11am that friday and it took us forever to get there but we finally got there.
-The next day was..wait for it…THE DALLAS COWBOYS GAME!!!! That was really the main event of our vacation.  That was so much fun! We even took a tour of the stadium that monday after Christmas.  We saw pretty much the entire stadium, we went inside the locker rooms and all that good stuff.
-It was freakin' amazing.
-Christmas wasn't too too difficult although I did have a meltdown or two on Christmas Eve.  I'm pretty proud of how I did.
-The hotel wasn't that bad, there were plenty of mirrors which made straightening my hair fun.  Haha.
-On the 26th we headed to the resort.   That was nice but the lodge was kinda ugly.  During our stay there (26-30) we went to the Caldwell Zoo, Cherokee Trace Drive-Thru Safari, we ate at the Purple Pig, passed a sign that read "Bodacious Bar-B-Q", we went to the Tiger Wildlife Refuge, and some other places as well.
-Oh! So we were at the Caldwell Zoo and I saw this little girl and I absolutely loved her hairstyle.  I was going to tell my aunt but the little girl walked like right in front of me and looked at me so I told her instead. "I love your hair" was what I said exactly and she went running to her dad and said "Dad, that lady/girl (not sure what she said) said she liked my hair" and she was pointing to me with a smile on her face.  I told her dad that I really liked it and he told her "What do you say?" so she said thank you and then (and this is the cute part) she came up to me and hugged me.  I'm 5 feet tall and she came up to my waist and she gave me this little hug she was so adorable!!!! That was probably the highlight of the entire trip for me.  <3
-Oh! Also I adopted a tiger named Katrina from the Tiger Wildlife Refuge! Her name is Katrina and she is the oldest tiger there.  She has the same birthday as my mom did (April 26).  I thought it was a sign from my momma. <3
-We then went to Dallas on the 30 and stayed there so my aunt's sister and nephews would be closer to the airport.  We stayed at the Wyndham and oh my goodness! I loved that hotel!!! The shower was absolutely gorgeous.
-On our way back home we stopped at a gas station called Stripes and it was very fancy! I took pictures haha. There was a fruit bar area, smoothies were available and there were tables!!!
-We got home yesterday around 7.  We watched Dick Clark's New Years Rockin Eve and it was nice to keep that tradition going.  My mom and I would always ring in the new year with New York and then with our city.  We both considered NY a second home.  I had a meltdown right after we rang in the new year with NY but since then I've been meltdown-free *knock on wood*.  After we rang in the New Year with NY and had six things of something.  In Mexico, the tradition is that you eat 12 grapes as the clock counts down but my mom and I would substitute the grapes for something smaller or we would cut up the grapes.  Last night my aunt and I had skittles.  I thought it would be a good idea to eat 6 with NY and 6 with my city.  After we rang in the new year my aunt and I went to their backyard and watched some fireworks.  It was a nice night.  I'm pretty sure my momma would be proud.
-So my resolution for this year is to try new things.  Be fearless.

I'm probably missing stuff but you get the idea of how wonderful of a time I had.
Oh! Today I cooked this one dish my mom and I used to make and it was nice to see my aunt and uncle like it and figure out how to eat it (tostada).


I got the first season of Grey's Anatomy btw!!!!
HAPPY 2012! I'm already liking this year.  

{WFTM-last one!}: Wedding and Holiday event.

Well, I'm glad to be able to write to y'all this time because many wonderful and stressful things happened since Thursday, so I'm hoping this one will top all other WFTM posts.

First of all, trying new things.  This past Friday and Saturday I worked with the Chapel Coordinator and he is still kind of new so I was the one in charge of the entire rehearsal and most of the wedding.  My boss (Wedding Chapel Coordinator) was visiting her mom in Alabama (she's sick, please pray for her.) To start it off, the priest wasn't going to be able to go to the wedding rehearsal, so I ran the ENTIRE wedding rehearsal.  Yeah, that's right! It was amazing! I told people where to stand, when to start walking, when to sit down. EVERYTHING. I'm not the kind of person to tell people what to do out of pure fun so this was a big step for me.  I step up when no one else does, my mom used to call me the "silent leader" so this was huge for me. I was talking to at least 20 people and I wasn't freaking out!  I answered people's questions clearly and they came to me for clarifications! It was absolutely amazing.  Yes, there were plenty of bumps along the road but I am so proud of myself.

I know my mom would be so proud of me.  She would absolutely love that I'm trying new things, whether it be eating a PB&J sandwich, or being fully committed to a character and saying everything they say (even cuss words), to painting my nails a different color or making big life decisions.  My mom taught me to try new things, not to worry about the "ifs" in life and go for your goals and that is exactly what I'm planning on doing. 

Second: healing.  I had a little meltdown yesterday right before rehearsal for this one holiday event my university does to kick off the holiday season.  As the holidays get closer it might be more difficult to stay strong and not have a meltdown but that's when healing begins.  I just want to make sure to enjoy life and not focus on all the sucky moments my mom and I went through before.  She would want me to remember her by all the AWESOME, AMAZING AND WONDERFUL times we had together, and trust me, there were plenty.  I've learned that it's okay to cry but it's also okay to laugh.  There will be times when I just want to cry and there will be times when I just want to talk about nonsense. It doesn't mean I've forgotten her, it just means I'm healing.  My mom and I dealt with this disease for 3 years, 3 months and 22 days.  It's time we both have some fun and enjoy our lives.  Mine will be enjoyed here on earth until I see her in heaven once I'm old and wrinkly and hers will be enjoyed in heaven, having a blast with all our loved ones.    


Here are some wonderful quotes I found on www.pinterest.com! [Love this website].  They describe a lot of what I'm feeling and pretty much my outlook on things to come.  

Thank y'all for coming along this ride with me.   Now, to the next step: finals! Ahh! 

God Bless!

And this is when it gets hard again

In my previous blog post I mentioned how terrified I was about my mom's cancer growing again and, well, it is.  Yeah, this feeling is pretty sucky.  I had mentioned in another post that my mom and I have this way of knowing if they are going to give us good news or bad news, if NP comes in, then it's good news, and if my mom's oncologist comes in then it could be good or bad.  Well, this theory was wrong because on thursday, the NP came into the office and told us that my mom's cancer markers were a bit higher.  This time, my mom and I didn't break down.  This time it was like we knew.  I guess you could say that we are somehow always prepared for things to not exactly going the way we want them to.  Of course I did cry a bit, but it's like sometimes after you've cried so much, you get so exhausted and realize that, whether you like the situation or not, everything happens for a reason.  It could also be that it hasn't really sunk in, but my mom will be starting chemotherapy again (3rd time) this coming wednesday, she will be having chemo once every three weeks unless the oncologist decides it should be changed.  I have been avoiding thinking about this coming wednesday because I won't be able to be there for my mom, I will drop her off and then go to school and then pick her up, the chemo will take about 4hrs, so tuesday will be when we prepare the "chemo bag" filled with stuff she may need during chemo. She also has a new pain medication, it's in tablet form this time, which makes us feel a bit safer.  Yeah, this whole situation sucks. I will stop writing about this because it's depressing.

Cool church at my university

So let's see, my acting class is probably my favorite class this semester.  I have to act like my partner for this coming assignment, and let's just say he's pretty much the entire opposite of me, so I'm excited.  I am also helping judge this Interp. tournament thing at my old high school, which I'm excited about as well.  Oh and we got two pieces in chorale, which makes me excited.

Well, until next time! Please keep praying for my mom and that this chemo won't have sucky side effects and that it will help my mom. Prayers mean the world to me.

Thank you.

Almost there!

Okay so today my mom got her clam-like cast-ish thing off her upper arm!!!!! WHOOPEEE! She was super duper excited, as was I.  So she drove a little bit for the first time in over two months! It was good.  While we were at the ortho oncologist's office we saw a girl, about 10 years old, coming out of the inside part of the office with crutches.  She started lifting her right pant leg up because it was too long and I noticed that she had her lower leg bandaged and didn't have a foot.  Honestly, it made me sad because she is such a young girl, she came out saying "Thank you Dr. Williams!" with a bright smile on her face and it just tightened my heart.  She has a good spirit and that is amazing, I pray that she will be okay.  (She had gotten some kind of infection or something like that).  She is such a strong girl.

I am starting to become very very very overwhelmed with my media projects because I don't have a Mac computer and it's basically all we use in my major.  It's crazy, but I'm so proud of myself for finding ways to work around this issue.  I downloaded this music converter thingy ALL BY MYSELF (and it works too!) after all this work of searching for the right program to solve this issue.  I know this probably sounds weird and maybe conceited but I am still pretty proud.  Oh also, the picture to my right is of a Mr. Pricklepants stuffed animal, it made me smile :]  I love Toy Story 3, it's an amazing movie!!!  Well, thanks again for reading and have a pleasant tomorrow! (I've been watching too much SNL-Weekend Update with Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon, haha)