Thursday, October 21

I'm hoping for the best

Today was my mom's oncologist appt.  We had to wake up at 6am to be able to get there, my aunt helped us get to the hospital.  Well anyway, my mom and I ate at the cafeteria (this is the hospital where she used to work so we were familiar with the place) what's crazy though is that right outside this cafeteria is where I found out about my mom's condition.  Well anyway my mom knows about this fear of mine so we went into the cafeteria a different way, and we were surprised to see the cafeteria renovated, it was nice! Well fast forward to 9:15am, after getting reports and stuff, and we are waiting at the oncologist.  We waited a while to see the oncologist, they were running behind, which only meant that my mom and my legs were shaking like crazy, you know, like the way when you are sitting down and you start shaking your leg because there is just sooo much on your mind that the only way to release it at the moment is just to shake your leg? (as weird as that sounds).  This time I was just EXTREMELY worried, I don't know why, it was just overwhelming.  We heard a little knock and then the oncologist appt came in and BAM my heart went into freakout mode.  My mom and I were just waiting to hear the hopefully good news. I am thankful to God to say that the medication my mom is currently on is controlling the cancer.  Brief story really fast: When my mom was diagnosed on June 4, 2008, she was in severe pain, all the doctors thought she had arthritis, anyway, long story short, when she was diagnosed, she was already Stage IV, (the last stage) so the goal back then was just to try to get any time with her, now two years later, we are hoping to extend the time more and more.  The sad thing is that this cancer will never go away, she will always have it (unless a cancer cure comes out), the oncologist said that we are hoping to get 5 to 10 years.  I don't know I'm thankful to God that she is with me, but the little girl in me is just like "I want my mommy forever".  My "mature" college student self just hates to realize that the end of this road for my mom will be cancer-related which makes me truly angry/sad.  I guess you could say that today was just a giant slap of reality with a side of overwhelming thoughts.  We were in a cab today and this one car on the left cut us off and the whole car accident scene flashed in my head again.  (I will describe in another post exactly how I found out about my mom's condition, because it's a great part of my past and who I am now, I feel it is very important to know.)

Even with all this suckiness with this askjdflk disease, my mom are focusing on being positive and maybe hopefully getting a car really soon.  I'm just hoping for the best.

Thanks for reading.
Please keep praying for my momma.
Until next time!

2 comments:

Greenelephant said...

I pray for you guys every day. This post made me start to cry. But you two will get through this with all the love that you have for eachother. You two are the strongest people that I know. God bless you.

Amy said...

Thanks Emily for everything. God bless you.
Thank you.

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