Wednesday, December 8

[Rollercoaster (Life] is a Cabaret)

So this week has been poo.  Besides it being finals week my mom hasn't been feeling good.  She'll be okay for a few days and then because of the stress or whatever she'll get horrible body/bone aches.  The other day it was so horrible that I kept on getting flashbacks of the accident and all that.  I try not to think about anything cancer-related, death-related, depressing or sad or anything like that but it just hits me all of a sudden sometimes.  Like yesterday, I was on and I saw that Elizabeth Edwards had passed away.  My mom and I had just seen her on the Nate Berkus (sp?) show just like last week and my mom and I learned that she had been diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer, EXACTLY like my mom, so I told my mom "Look, and she is still alive and here", she had just started another chemo treatment so she had lost all of her hair.  I tried to not mention to my mom about her passing but as she was flipping through the channels she saw the news and her story was being told.  I pray for her and her family as they are going through this difficult time.

Sometimes I just try to focus on school and not ever think about my mom's horrible disease but it's like sometimes you get these ginormous billboard signs saying "Hey you! You're mom is sick! She won't be here forever" and it's like normal realize that but are not confronted with it everyday of worrying if their mom will be alive to see them graduate from high school or college, or see them get married and my mom being sick is a constant reminder of the horrible aspects of life.  But then there are days where I'm like "Dude, this is my mom we're talking about, like the strongest person ever! She saw me graduate from high school and she'll see me graduate from college and get married and have kids and all the stuff in between."

And, this whole finals stuff has me overly stressed, like I'm naturally a bit paranoid but this just sent me over the top.  I was pretty proud of the projects I presented but sometimes it's just like AHHHH! I had to work with a girl that let's just say, we did not see eye to eye.'s all over now! My mom is a bit better today and I'm done with finals!

I know I sounded kind of bitter, but this is just a way to let it all out, I know that everything will be okay eventually but it's just the kind of rollercoaster life I have.  After getting home my mom and I just sat in our car and sang along to "Life is a Carabet" by Liza Minelli, it's moments like that that I know everything will fall into place.

P.S. I'm super pumped to start my THEATER minor next semester!!!! :]]

Thanks for reading.


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