Tuesday, February 22

Deja Vu

Okay so these past eight days have been not so amazing at all. (If that makes sense)
I am not a person that deals well with death, I don't think anyone does really, but I am the kind of person that is really scared of it and hates it.  I know it probably sounds weird, but I hate it. My friend's dad passed away this past weekend and it has seriously affected me, I wish I could help her and I tell her if she needs anything, I am here for her, but it makes me so angry sometimes, I mean, she does not deserve this.  I just hope and pray that she will be okay.  Another thing, on fridays I have choir at noon, and this past friday I heard four ambulances in the course of less than four hours and it made me sad.  I wish I could help people and I wish there was less pain in the world.  (As cheesy as that sounds) This past weekend my mom and I watched two movies on demand: Life as WE Know it (in my last blog post I put Life as I Know It, that was wrong) anyway, Life As We Know It with Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel and it was a really sweet movie and You Again with Jamie Lee Curtis and Kristen Bell and it was nice.  I guess I usually turn to movies and television to get distracted.  ( I recommend watching Life As We Know It, it's really worth it)
I found this online and I liked it.

These past eight days, like I said, have been pretty sucky. I don't want to sound emo or anything like that, but it feels like I've cried everyday.  I am working on thinking positively but it's hard, that is part of the reason why I have not blogged in over a week, I just didn't feel like bringing others down.  I was doing a bit better today until I got some other news.

I mentioned a while ago, that my aunt was going to have a lung biopsy because they were mostly sure it wasn't cancer, but today we found out that it is.  They looked at her lung today, during the surgery of course, and it's cancer.  This was seriously like a deja vu for me.  I mean except for the fact that my uncle told my mom and I and that my mom and I were at home.  It just sucks you know? I mean, it's not like it's genetic or anything because my aunt and my mom aren't even related.  I just hate it.  Then, we found out that it is most likely Stage I which means that it was caught early but it doesn't make it make me feel much better.  I feel like these eight days have been a ginormous nightmare and that I just need to wake up, but obviously I am awake because I am typing this.  Then I start thinking, it's my aunt, you know, not some wimpy little person, so I pray that she'll okay.  My mom and I talked on the phone with her today and she sounded good (she was on pain medication).  Even as I am writing this blog, it still has not hit me (the sucky events that happened these eight days).

My mom is doing okay, so so.  I feel like she is doing better than in the last chemo she got, so we are praying that everything stays okay.

Please pray for my mom and my aunt and my friend.  Thank you.


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