Thursday, March 17

Peace and Love

Okay so things aren't that great right now.  I have had two cancer-related nightmares in the past three nights and they seem so real that they make me super depressed.  Today is my mom's last day of pain patches, which means that she is in more pain than usual because the pain patch has started to lose it's effect of controlling her pain.  It takes a few hours for the new set of pain patches to kick in so the last day is pretty sucky (which is every three days).  I know this is sounding super depressing and probably not the best way to start off this post but it's just one of those days.

Peace and love (found it online)
Everything hasn't been that wonderful lately.  I pray that everything in Japan gets better and really that everything gets better.  As cheesy as this sounds, I want world peace, happiness and health.  I know major dork moment, but it's just like sometimes it just hits you, you know? I am the kind of person that doesn't use the word hate a lot, but there are just some things that I do hate, like death, sickness, pain, pretty much anything depressing.  I just want everything to get better.

Like with my mom right now, today was a sucky day, but the thing is that she'll hopefully feel better tomorrow and then it's going to be like, "Gosh Amy, you don't have to worry" but then it's time for the labs and then her oncologist appt. and then BAM! fears are back, stomach feels messed up and then it gets better and then again horrible.  It's just... I don't know.

I'm trying to be positive and have faith but it it's like in moments were I feel so helpless and mad everything just feels so overwhelming.

I will try to end this blog with something not depressing:

It's Spring Break so I have been working on scholarships and homework and other stuff, so I'm glad that I don't have to go to school this week.  I am getting closer to getting my teeth situation fixed, so I'm glad about that as well.  Ummm...I think that's it.

Thanks for reading and helping me get this out of my brain.
Please keep praying.

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