Change.

I will start with the not so wonderful news and then end with pretty nice things.

As I mentioned in earlier posts, my mom is in a skilled nursing facility.  Here's a quick summary of what's happened since I finished my first year in college:
 -May 8: Mother's Day. Mom is admitted into hospital at around 5am because she wasn't doing so well.  She had pneumonia, an infection, her platelets were weird, she had low red and white blood cells.  She stayed in the hospital until the 18th.  On the 16th, she tore a tendon on her right arm.
 -May 23: Two days before my birthday.  My mom fell and broke her right femur (thigh).  She was rushed to a different hospital than we're used to because they specialize in orthopaedic surgeries.  She had her surgery on May 25 (my birthday) and then on the 28th-ish she was transferred to our familiar hospital to get therapy. My mom was there until June 10 when she was transferred to this skilled nursing facility where she is getting therapy.

Here's the story: My mom was talking with the therapists here and (like her orthopaedic surgeon had said) they feel it isn't the best if she ever walked again.  She fell and broke her femur once because her bones are so weak, what will prevent it from happening again? This is all as a precautionary measure, we don't want her to break anything else, so it's best if she doesn't walk again.  I was out at this time and my mom just told me this. Now of course, I don't want my mom to break anything ever again but it's like "Wow, things have really changed." It just hit me, my mom's bones being so brittle is because of chemo and radiation. She was diagnosed June 4, 2008 and since then she's been constantly on something until now because of this whole broken bone thing.

1995

I guess what I'm trying to say is I miss when things were easier.  When my biggest worry was what I was going to wear to school or that one really hard test.  Now it's like, how is my mom going to get in the car? What's it going to be like when I go back to school? DNR or DR (because her bones are brittle)? Where do we move (because we need to, because we can't have steps in our apartments)? How are we going to pay for this? What is going to happen with everything? What is going to happen to my mom? What does our future look like? I try to take things one step at a time but sometimes it's like I'm drowning.  I just wish things were just like they were when I was in 5th grade or something.  Those days were easier.  I guess, it's just part of growing up.  You'd think I'd get used to this whole cancer situation since age 16 when my mom was diagnosed, but it just gets harder and harder.

Thank you for letting me let it out.
Now for the nicer news.

I mentioned that my Aunt Estelle gave us her Wii. Yesterday my mom and I played with it and it was really fun.  The bowling helps her left arm get stronger and I have been playing the boxing games (also on the Wii Fit Plus) which helps me get all my anger out. The Wii Fit also helps me get my energy out.

Also I start my PE class this coming weekend.  9am-12pm.  At least it'll help me get rid of all that grossness the hospital food gave me. ha.

Another thing!!! My mom's pain medication schedule is fixed!!! (I just found this out.)

I pray that everything gets just a tad bit easier and thank God for still having my mom here with me.  Please pray guys. Thank you.