Thursday, August 18

Stage IV.

Well readers, this is what one would consider a serious post.  This morning my mom and I (before going to the oncologist) watched a bit of Good Morning America.  They showed the world television premiere of Martina McBride's song "I'm Gonna Love You Through It".  Now, here is my opinion: I know that all people fighting cancer are fighters and it's amazing that people get diagnosed in the earlier stages because that increases their chance of survival.  Here's my deal though, what happens to those who don't get diagnosed with cancer in the early stages [Stage I, II or even III]? I'm talking about those who are diagnosed with Stage IV cancer.  Like I said, it's wonderful when people get diagnosed with cancer in the early stages but I don't feel there is enough support out there for those that don't.  

This song, which is really nice, don't get me wrong, it's great for those that can relate exactly. 

She made it through the surgery fine
They said they caught it just in time
But they had to take more than they planned
Now it's forced smiles and baggy shirts
To hide what the cancer took from her
But she just wants to feel like a woman again
She said, "I don't think I can do this anymore"
He took her in his arms and said "That's what my love is for"

The second line and third line almost makes me want to say "Well thank God, that's great and wonderful but be thankful that that's all you had to get.  You had to endure a difficult surgery and probably radiation and chemo but that's it."

The fourth line is maybe one of my least favorites. "Forced smiles and baggy shirts".  Forced smiles? Really? I'll show you a forced smile, every single time people ask how your day is and you say "fine" but you know it's not, you realize that everything is slowly dying away, day by day.  That things will slowly decline and me more painful, there will be more complications, things will happen that wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer.  Her bones, where the cancer spread, are so brittle that she will never walk again, her liver has shadows of cancer in it and she is in constant pain.  So when this line is sung it's almost like they are lucky that's all they faced.  

For the last few lines, "wants to feel like a woman again" and "I don't think I can do this anymore", it's the same kind of deal.  Feeling like a woman again after the removal of the breasts, is something that I am not familiar with but my mom has been with constant treatment since 2008, she has had at least 3 different kinds of chemo given to her at different times.  You talk about wanting to feel like a woman again, my mom and many other Stage IV survivors have to constantly deal with losing their hair.  

Finally, and this is definitely my least favorite, "I don't think I can do this anymore".  Granted, whenever people hear the word cancer and find out that they, or a loved one is diagnosed, their world crumbles. I know, I've been there.  People feel that nothing will ever be the same.  The thing is that for the people who are diagnosed in the early stages they will get better and be in remission but for those diagnosed in the later stages, their chances of ever being in remission are slim to none.  

I know I may have come off as rude but I just feel that there should be more attention to those fighting Stage IV cancer.  They shouldn't be looked at as a lost cause or given up on.  They are the true fighters that even against all odds are still here fighting.  They are the ones that when given obstacle after obstacle still manage to keep being positive.  They are the ones we need to focus on helping, not just those diagnosed in the early stages.  We need them to know that we are there for them, for the all those times that they are told that they need to switch treatments because they've stopped working or for those times when they are told that the cancer is spreading to yet another body part.  We need to be there for them just like they were/are there for us.  They need to know that we are with them fighting all odds along the way and that we won't give up on them despite the statistics.  I know that is exactly how I try to be with my mom. She is my hero and she is the bravest person I know.  She is fighting the biggest battle of her life and I admire her for it.  I just want us to spread the word in curing cancer, especially in the late stages.  

Thank you for letting me get my opinion out.  My mom will be having chemo next thursday, please pray.  Thank you all.


sydneytr said...

I am sending you and your momma prayers, love, hugs, hope, faith, positive thoughts, emotions, and more prayers everyday. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. This has nothing on your story, but a few weeks after my dad died, a family friends' of ours (5 family members) daughter got confirmed. The mom called my mom up and was crying because the nobody else from their family but her could be there for the ceremony, and asked us to please come and support her. (their dad was in Germany for a few weeks, sis is at college, bro's at a competition.) When my mom relayed everything to me, I felt kind of, who the heck cares? He'll be back in a few weeks! She's gonna see him again. IN A FEW WEEKS. He will be there the rest of her life. Is it really gonna matter? I had troubles feeling sympathy for them as rude as it sounds.
Anyway, moral of the story: sometimes people don't understand the situation until they are living it, week by week, day by day, moment by moment.
I am lucky enough to have brothers who love me, but I just want to let you know that you have friends and readers and so many others who care about you so much! Believe it or not, you've touched more people with your kindness than you think. I know you will stay strong, and remember to take it day by day.
I hope this wasn't too weird and provided you with some sort of solace, or at the very least now you know someone is thinking about you.

-Sydney M.

Amy Cassandra said...

Oh Sydney thank you so much for this. I am so very blessed to have a friend as amazing and wonderful as you. This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done and it really makes me feel good. Thank you so much Sydney. You have shown so much strength and I know that bright things are in your future. I will definitely take this to heart and thank you again.

P.S. It wasn't too weird. :)
Thank you again.
P.S.S. I'm here for you too if YOU ever need anything.

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