Out.

My mom recently got platelets because her platelets were EXTREMELY low.  My mom called me when I was on my way back from school and said that they were going to send her to the ER and of course I went into freak out mode.  The worst part was that she told me that they told her that at any time if she started bleeding, she could bleed very rapidly and wouldn't be able to stop.  She then had to call somebody from the oncologist's office but in the meantime I was calling her.  With our cell phones if a person is calling a person who is already on a call, that person has no way of knowing they are on the phone already.  Basically, I had no idea she was on the phone talking with somebody so here I am in the car waiting for her to answer and my mind/body/everything basically starts exploding.  This may be a bit personal but I rather get it out than keep it inside, but I started crying and screaming in the car because I thought everything was over.  I was having a meltdown.  Whenever something really bad happens my hands get cold, clammy and numb and my chest semi, kind of tightens.  It's pretty overwhelming.  In the midst of my meltdown I got a call from the social worker [LADY I STRONGLY DISLIKE] saying that my mom was okay but she was on the phone with someone else.  I thank God my mom asked her to call me because it was horrendous.  Anyway, I got to my mom right as they were taking her to the ER.  Long story short, they didn't have to admit her and they just gave her the platelets in the ER.

Really quickly:
We finally moved into the new apartment on Tuesday.  It was really overwhelming, hot, frustrating, crazy and I'm glad it's over.

Goodbye apartment.

So, with that being said, today I turned in the keys to the apartment.  I thought it was going to be so easy, I mean, you just go and hand them in, not that hard right? Wrong.  As soon as I got in the car after giving them the keys I started crying. We moved into that apartment close to 10 years ago.  I know, that's a VERY long time.  We went into that apartment happy, carefree.  My mom was working at the daycare where I went to.  I started playing the violin and practicing there.  We celebrated holidays there.  We slept for 1 ½ days straight after our trip to Virginia in the summer before my 7th grade.  We came back there after our amazing trip to New York.  We also had restless nights in there.  We barely slept the night before my mom's brain surgery.  We came back there and cried our eyes out after my mom's diagnosis.  We dealt with my mom's broken arm after the accident there. [[Which reminds me, I drove by the accident site thinking it would be okay since it's been close to a year since the accident.  It most definitely was not okay.  I bawled my eyes out.  Lesson learned.]]Lastly, that's where my mom broke her femur.

It's difficult to realize that we won't ever be there.  We went into that apartment happy and healthy and we are coming out of it not as happy and definitely not as healthy.  It's sad, you know? I pray that in this new apartment better memories will be made.  Which brings me to my next point.

We were just told that because of my mom's insurance she is no longer allowed to stay at the skilled nursing facility.  Basically, we don't know where we are going to be tomorrow.  I'd like to consider myself a spontaneous girl but I don't feel that way when we are talking about my mom's medical needs.  They told us that it would be unsafe for her to go to the new apartment because she would most likely end up in the hospital with three days.  Nice, sweet, positive thoughts right? But if we go to the other option (nursing facility) the financial aspect of it would be very difficult to take care of.  Basically, option A is bad and option B is bad as well. Please pray for us.  Please pray that we can find a way to work everything out and that my mom feels good.  Please pray that this cancer isn't spreading and that she can have chemo again.  Please pray for my mom.

Thank you.