Two out of the three meltdowns I had this week were on the same day but for different reasons. One of them happened as I was driving the route I used to drive all the time and, more importantly, the day we found out, it was seriously like being in a nightmare. My hands got cold and numb, just like that day and my heart started racing, just like that day. Lesson learned: Don't go that route for a very, VERY long time. {There is no need to do depressing things} The other one was just because I really miss her, I miss her hugs and her laugh. Oh dear, just thinking about it makes me teary-eyed. I miss everything about her. So I just had a meltdown in the car. The final meltdown of the week was friday night. I recently bought my annual New York calendar. Every single time I'd get one, I always drew a little heart on August 1, my grandma's birthday (whom I never met but know she was one awesome lady), April 26, my mom's birthday and then mine, May 25. This time it was weird, I drew a little heart on April 26 but the waterworks just came when I thought about that day. I wrote a little note to my mom on that square so it was nice but it still hit me like a ton of bricks. "Hello Amy! She's not here anymore, she won't be here that day and you won't ever be able to celebrate her birthday with her again. Oh and by the way, your kids will never get to meet her and your future husband won't either!" I know, depressing thoughts right? And totally random because this was only about her birthday but I'm a planner and I plan ahead and jump to the future. So, there you have it. I had three meltdowns this week. Let's hope this week is better.

My aunt's birthday was yesterday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT ESTELLE!
{She really loved my presents!}
Wish me luck with trying new things and being fearless!
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