First of all, trying new things. This past Friday and Saturday I worked with the Chapel Coordinator and he is still kind of new so I was the one in charge of the entire rehearsal and most of the wedding. My boss (Wedding Chapel Coordinator) was visiting her mom in Alabama (she's sick, please pray for her.) To start it off, the priest wasn't going to be able to go to the wedding rehearsal, so I ran the ENTIRE wedding rehearsal. Yeah, that's right! It was amazing! I told people where to stand, when to start walking, when to sit down. EVERYTHING. I'm not the kind of person to tell people what to do out of pure fun so this was a big step for me. I step up when no one else does, my mom used to call me the "silent leader" so this was huge for me. I was talking to at least 20 people and I wasn't freaking out! I answered people's questions clearly and they came to me for clarifications! It was absolutely amazing. Yes, there were plenty of bumps along the road but I am so proud of myself.
I know my mom would be so proud of me. She would absolutely love that I'm trying new things, whether it be eating a PB&J sandwich, or being fully committed to a character and saying everything they say (even cuss words), to painting my nails a different color or making big life decisions. My mom taught me to try new things, not to worry about the "ifs" in life and go for your goals and that is exactly what I'm planning on doing.
Second: healing. I had a little meltdown yesterday right before rehearsal for this one holiday event my university does to kick off the holiday season. As the holidays get closer it might be more difficult to stay strong and not have a meltdown but that's when healing begins. I just want to make sure to enjoy life and not focus on all the sucky moments my mom and I went through before. She would want me to remember her by all the AWESOME, AMAZING AND WONDERFUL times we had together, and trust me, there were plenty. I've learned that it's okay to cry but it's also okay to laugh. There will be times when I just want to cry and there will be times when I just want to talk about nonsense. It doesn't mean I've forgotten her, it just means I'm healing. My mom and I dealt with this disease for 3 years, 3 months and 22 days. It's time we both have some fun and enjoy our lives. Mine will be enjoyed here on earth until I see her in heaven once I'm old and wrinkly and hers will be enjoyed in heaven, having a blast with all our loved ones. Here are some wonderful quotes I found on www.pinterest.com! [Love this website]. They describe a lot of what I'm feeling and pretty much my outlook on things to come.
Thank y'all for coming along this ride with me. Now, to the next step: finals! Ahh!
God Bless!
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