B O I B Y E ( 2 0 1 6 )

THE END OF 2016 IN PICTURES:

The Americana 

 

FIRST PAID TV JOB IN LA!

 

Our first Christmas tree

 

 Our FIRST ANNIVERSARY!

 

Universal Studios Hollywood 

Meal prep-age

H E L L O  2 0 1 7

 

2016 was crazy. scary. terrifying. daunting. wonderful. fantastic. too much. whack. life-changing.

We have so much hope for this coming year.

Fitness life.

Professional life.

Personal life.

B.T. dubs, I'm turning 25 this year.  AHHHH.

If you're reading this, feel free to check out my fitness instagram @foodie_and_fittie because that's one of main goals of the year.  Me in a freaking bikini on my 25th birthday. ;)

I'll mention more of my fitness growth in a later post and how BBG has changed me so much. 

Ahh. 2017, please be goood. 

L.O.V.E.

Mickey and I celebrated our second Valentine's Day together!! 

Let's just start by saying this is our first one since graduation and it was amazing!! 

We didn't have to worry about classes or homework! 

Last year, as some of you may remember, didn't go as planned.  A teacher kept us all class period after saying she wouldn't and so our plans were changed but we went with the flow and ended up at Applebee's.  Well, my friends, no teacher stood in our way this year! 

I woke up at like 9:30am to make sure I was ready to go at a reasonable time.  

I had the hardest time going to sleep the night before because I was so freaking excited! 

I didn't tell Mickey I was waking up earlier than usual (it was a secret!)

I started getting ready and then he texted me later saying he was waking up.  I lied to him and pretended I was still semi-asleep.  LIE! I had taken a shower, gotten my stuff together and was fixing my hair! :)

I surprised him at his house at around 11:30am! 

We exchanged presents and it was so cute because he's just so adorable when he gives me presents, we both love to look at one another when we open presents.  

He gave me a dozen red roses, an Imagine poster, two Celine Dion CDs, and a card with a poem in it.  (heart melted)

I gave him a teddy bear (inside joke), a stuffed animal, gum (inside joke), a Starbucks gift card and a card with a letter in it.  

:)

I then showed him my hair! (Inspired by Pinterest!) 

Then I hugged Buddy, his labradoodle and proceeded to take these two pictures.  

Buddy wanted a valentine of his own. :(

We then continued with our plans of going on a picnic for lunch.  

We started walking and decided to stop a bit sooner than planned because we were so excited to eat.  #fatties #justkidding #butseriously

I sat on the Minnie side and he sat on the blue side.
Food present:
2 sandwiches. Life Cinnamon Cereal. Lay's Sour Cream & Onion Chips.
Welch's Fruit Snacks. Chicken Pot Pie Soup. Marshmallows. YUM! 

We realized we were matching! We both wore red and blue! He wore a
striped shirt and I wore a heart dress.  Great minds think alike! 
It was so much fun! We both don't really care for being outside but it was delightful and 
we were under a shade and no bugs got in our food! Yay!

We then walked back to Mickey's house and watched He's Just Not That Into You! My mom and I had seen that movie a while ago and we loved it.  I told Mickey about it and when 
we were deciding what to do on Valentine's Day I brought this movie up!
 It was just perfect!

We watched it while enjoying a bag of popcorn and some yogurt!
Oh and we came to the realization that I'm very much like 
Ginnifer Goodwin's character, Gigi.
From how she acted and what she wore.  OMG.  It was crazy. Oh and need I 
mention her's and Justin Long's relationship in the movie? Ahh.  It was cool.  :)
Lastly, we got ready for the last part of our Valentine's Day-dinner. We changed and 
everything.We went to Olive Garden.  The one we wanted to go to didn't 
take reservations so we knew we'd be waiting a while, so we went before we 
started getting hungry.We got there and waited about 45 minutes, which didn't 
feel long at all! We talked outside, it was beautiful.
We were called just as we started getting super hungry.  Perfect timing!
We ate breadsticks, that freakishly amazing Chicken & Gnocchi soup, we had 
an appetizer (calamari and beef and pork ravioli!), Mickey got the Tour de Italy 
and I got Chicken Alfredo with whole wheat pasta, and Tiramisu! YUM! 
We didn't finish our actual entrees to save room for dessert and it was so worth it! 
This picture obviously does not do it justice.

We listened to one of the Celine Dion CDs, some Beyonce and  L.O.V.E. by Nat King Cole
and some Frank Sinatra! This guy knows how to make me swoon over him! ;)
We went back to his house and then watched the Valentine's Day episode of Buffy.  :)
His parents helped us with pictures, see below.  This was the best one.

 And there you have it.  Our second Valentine's Day together.  It was my favorite Valentine's yet! 

Thank you Mickey for making me the happiest girl in the world and giving me fuzzies and butterflies.  You make my heart melt more and more everyday and I'm so blessed to be a part of your life.  Here's to many more Valentine's Days together!! 

I love you Mickey! 

                                                                                                                       -Your Minnie ❤️

My Sweet Valentine

So Mickey and I celebrated our first Valentine's Day together! 

I woke up so giddy and excited that day! It was amazing!

He surprised me with:

-a balloon that read "I love you"

-a stuffed animal (dog) with a heart

-Sour Patch Extreme

-a dozen red roses *sigh*

-a sweet poem

 (he's got a way with words, it's one of his best qualities)

-And we got each other Mickey and Minnie.

I gave him these Datevitation things I had seen a while ago and then again on Marsa's blog.

I wrote him a whole letter and learned a few things.

It was amazing to see his face as he read my girly letter. 

;)

Fabric of skirt and all other goodies. :)

So, we had Play Analysis at 9am and then tacos for late breakfast then TV Practicum.  

I straightened my hair so that after our 6pm class we could go to Red Lobster (that was the plan).  

May I say that our excitement for the cheesy biscuits was a little abnormal..? Yeah.

Long story short. 

Our 6-8:45pm class (Producing/Directing Seminar) ran wayyy to long.

(She had even said we wouldn't stay long the class before).

Boo.  

We weren't happy campers. 

Plans changed.

I still changed clothing. 

(I wore this cute skirt, black heels, and black top/cardigan and pearls).

*no picture of outfit

**note to self: get a picture of what you're wearing when your boyfriend's jaw drops. :)

Mickey liked it!

We then headed over to Applebee's because it was too late but we had a blast!

We got seated right away (in this section close to the bar that we've always wanted to get seated in), we got food right away, we pigged out, we laughed and had dessert.

And I fell even more in love with him. 

I know I'm missing out a lot of stuff but I wanted to recap our beautiful first Valentine's together. 

Next up! Our 1 year anniversary is next month!! Whaaaa? 

I'm so excited! I already know what I'm gonna wear and what I'm gonna get him. :)

February 14, 2013

Hope y'all had a wonderful Valentines day! 

New Kind of Thanksgiving and Black Friday!

No chocolates or roses for this gal, I'm
a sour patch & carnations kind of girl. Mickey knows
his way into this girl's heart. ♥

So, I realized I left out vital information in my last post, so here's to catch y'all up.

I mentioned about a year ago that I was going to become part of Catholic Daughters of America (CDA) and I'm proud to say I was initiated on the 18th! Let's rewind a bit though.

The following weekend after I posted, Mickey and I went to a quince where we were the photographers and videographers.  They are family members of his and we've been working with them for a bit.  It was really cool because working at the chapel, I've always been on the other side so it was nice working as a photographer! It was also amazing to be able to use Mickey's Canon t2i! It's absolutely gorgeous!!! I want one SO bad! We were alternating using it, it was fun!

On the 17th of November, my darling Mickey turned 21! I surprised him the night before with a surprise birthday party at Magic Time Machine.  The details of how I planned this are too extend and so I won't bore you with them, just know there was lying and sneaking around being done.  Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right? Anyway, we rang in his 21st at midnight right after singing karaoke! We sang Twist and Shout (the day we got together-03.18.12-we watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off and so this song has special meaning to us).  That was the end of that night.  Each day starting from Thursday I had a surprise lined up for him.

Thursday 11.15  BIRTHDAY CUPCAKES!
Friday 11.16 SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY!
Saturday 11.17 JACKET HE WANTED FROM TARGET!
Sunday 11.18 GIFTCARD FROM SALTGRASS WAS USED!

It was an amazing weekend.  We also went to a friend's wedding dinner/reception and our school's holiday event oh and of course, my CDA initiation! I know I had an amazing time planning everything for him and I LOVED seeing his face react to all the surprises.  I shocked myself by how well I kept this surprise!

Fast forward a bit to this week/weekend.  We celebrated our first Thanksgiving together!! I, unfortunately, had to work at Cracker Barrel but was out at 2pm.  I then headed over to my aunt's house and munched a bit and then went over to Mickey's parent's house.  It was so nice to see their traditions and how they do certain things. It was pretty awesome.  It was hard celebrating yet another Thanksgiving without my momma but I'm sure she loves seeing me happy and taken care of, not just by my aunt and uncle and friends (and her friends) but also by Mickey and his amazing family.  It was nice trying something new on Thanksgiving.  I've always celebrated it with my mom, my aunt and uncle, or neighbors, never with my boyfriend's family, so this was a HUGE deal & I absolutely loved spending time with him.  ♥

CDA flowers given to new inductees. :)

We wrapped up that night by going to Target and seeing some of the Black Friday deals.  My mom and I always wanted to do the whole Black Friday thing so it was nice to venture out and so.  We got a few movies and called it a night.  Today we got a bit more shopping in! Guys, Black Friday is the real deal! If you've never done it, I strongly recommend it.  Mickey and I already have a new game plan set up for next year! Why? Because that's how we roll!

BTW.  I MISSED FOREVER 21. ;)

Hope everyone's Thanksgiving was wonderful and good luck on Cyber Monday my fellow shoppers!

I've got the power!

So, I will not talk about who I voted for but instead on how blessed I feel that women now days can vote.  This past summer, Mickey and I took a Women in the Media class and I was introduced to so much more information I wasn't aware of about the Women's Suffrage movement.  We watched Iron-Jawed Angels and oh my, I still remember certain scenes of it that are ingrained in my head.  It's crazy to think that there was a point in time when women couldn't vote.  That we were seen as inferior and not able to make important decisions, such as electing our nation's leaders.  So, today, when I went to vote for the second time in my life (the first time was in a small election), I realized the true blessing it was.  I was majorly excited and sported a cheesy smile as I walked in to the country club near my aunt and uncle's house.  I was in and out of there in 10 minutes! I was scared it would take too long but I went in around 10:30 am before my noon class and did my part!
It's crazy because I remember voting in the small elections with my mom and acting the exact same way so that people ten miles away knew it was my first time voting.  My mom was so happy for me! I'm so glad we were able to share that together.  I remember going with her to vote for other elections but there's a different feeling when you can vote yourself, it's indescribable.  I will treasure that moment we had together.

So, here's a bit of an update on life since I last blogged:

1. Dia de los Muertos happened.  Mickey and I went to a festival at his high school program and then we went to an exhibit.  It was all very nice.  It's weird because I don't even remember what I did last year.  I think I was still in a daze from my mom's passing.  At this event, Mickey and I touched a burmese python! It was insane!!!

2.  I have 4 projects/presentations this week.  I've completed/presented 3 of them, so here's to the last one!

3.  Halloween was fun.  Mickey and I went to Chipotle and each had ourselves a $2 burrito! It tasted so much better knowing it was only $2.  We then went to his parent's house and celebrated a bit.

4.  For my social media class I made a PSA for this organization I founded.  I've gotten such good feedback that I'm excited to continue with it for our final project! Susan G. Komen (the city organization), American Cancer Society and Lane from Gilmore Girls shared the video on facebook making me the happiest girl in the world! Mickey and I met our Congressman and even got a picture with him! Here's the link to the video and don't forget to 'like' our facebook page here!

I will attempt to continue keeping y'all updated on life and all it's happenings!

Happy Mother's Day Momma!

SO TRUE.

So, one of the most important holidays (in my book) has officially started.  Mothers Day.  My mom and I also celebrated Mother's Day in Mexico (May 10 every year) but this past May 10 was very crazy, so I will definitely make it a point to celebrate today! I wanted to just brag out my mom for a while and end with a letter (just like on her birthday post).

So here's the deal.  I know we all brag about our momma's but seriously mine was as good as they come.  She was one heck of a woman.  I mean from day one, when after all the miscarriages she had had prior to me, she found out I was actually going to make it.  She was going to have a baby.  She had complications through the pregnancy, and she went through everything to get me. We're talking shots and craziness.  Once she had me, I became her world.  She worked three jobs to put food on the table, she never complained.  She was one tough cookie.  Yet, her generosity, kindness and gentleness were immensely apparent as she raised me.  She NEVER spanked me or hit me.  NOTHING.  I'm not trying to make it sound like I was one spoiled kid either. She disciplined me when necessary and all but she did it so well, no cuss words were ever thrown around.  As I got older, she became my friend.  Even as a teenager, we maintained the bond that so many mothers and daughters wish they had.  We went out and did girly things, we had our traditions.  We were each others best friends.  When she got sick, our friendship grew and we became like sisters as well.  We were each others rock.  In short, because it would take a whole book to describe the immense gratitude and love I have for my mother, my mom was one funny, smart, motherly, feisty, gentle, do-anything-for-her-child, sweet, honest, brave, strong, wise, know-exactly-what-to-say-when-to-say-it, BEST HUGGER, adventurous, always-work-for-more-never-settle, eager, excited for life, best friend-sister-mother combo, I-will-always-love-you, best-person-I-ever-had-the-pleasure-of-meeting kind of woman.  If I grow up to be even half the woman she was, I know I will have been successful.

So, for the letter.

Dear Ma/Momma/Mommy/Mamasita,

    HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! I hope this Mother's Day is especially wonderful because you get to spend it with your mom as well! Please tell her hi for me! Thanks! Well, so for Mother's Day, I wanted to make sure and do something nice for you, so we are going out to eat, I don't know where yet but I will make sure to eat something you would have wanted to eat! Also, you are welcome to read the above paragraph.  :) It's all true.  I want to tell you so much more and all that good stuff but I should leave some of it for the book that I will write about you.  Remember? I didn't forget mama. :)

    Thank you for being such a fantastic, wonderful, amazing, magnificent mom to me.  I know you are still watching over me and will be guiding me the rest of my life.  It's nice to know I have a guardian angel.  Haha. The first time I wrote "angel" I accidentally wrote "angle", well, you probably saw that.  :) Thank you for being my mom and for giving me the strength and wisdom to do everything.  I will continue to make you proud and try new things.  I will do so much momma, you will amazed!

    So, lastly, mamasita.  Te quiero mucho! I'm practicing my Spanish more (I know you would be happy about that, haha) and I will work hard and live my life to the fullest.  I love you with all my heart baby and I hope you have a heavenly Mother's Day sweet momma! I LOVE YOU!!!!

Love, forever your daughter and best friend, 

Amy

Way too much to catch up on!

Here are the highlights from December 23-January 1:

-We left at around 11am that friday and it took us forever to get there but we finally got there.
-The next day was..wait for it…THE DALLAS COWBOYS GAME!!!! That was really the main event of our vacation.  That was so much fun! We even took a tour of the stadium that monday after Christmas.  We saw pretty much the entire stadium, we went inside the locker rooms and all that good stuff.
-It was freakin' amazing.
-Christmas wasn't too too difficult although I did have a meltdown or two on Christmas Eve.  I'm pretty proud of how I did.
-The hotel wasn't that bad, there were plenty of mirrors which made straightening my hair fun.  Haha.
-On the 26th we headed to the resort.   That was nice but the lodge was kinda ugly.  During our stay there (26-30) we went to the Caldwell Zoo, Cherokee Trace Drive-Thru Safari, we ate at the Purple Pig, passed a sign that read "Bodacious Bar-B-Q", we went to the Tiger Wildlife Refuge, and some other places as well.
-Oh! So we were at the Caldwell Zoo and I saw this little girl and I absolutely loved her hairstyle.  I was going to tell my aunt but the little girl walked like right in front of me and looked at me so I told her instead. "I love your hair" was what I said exactly and she went running to her dad and said "Dad, that lady/girl (not sure what she said) said she liked my hair" and she was pointing to me with a smile on her face.  I told her dad that I really liked it and he told her "What do you say?" so she said thank you and then (and this is the cute part) she came up to me and hugged me.  I'm 5 feet tall and she came up to my waist and she gave me this little hug she was so adorable!!!! That was probably the highlight of the entire trip for me.  <3
-Oh! Also I adopted a tiger named Katrina from the Tiger Wildlife Refuge! Her name is Katrina and she is the oldest tiger there.  She has the same birthday as my mom did (April 26).  I thought it was a sign from my momma. <3
-We then went to Dallas on the 30 and stayed there so my aunt's sister and nephews would be closer to the airport.  We stayed at the Wyndham and oh my goodness! I loved that hotel!!! The shower was absolutely gorgeous.
-On our way back home we stopped at a gas station called Stripes and it was very fancy! I took pictures haha. There was a fruit bar area, smoothies were available and there were tables!!!
-We got home yesterday around 7.  We watched Dick Clark's New Years Rockin Eve and it was nice to keep that tradition going.  My mom and I would always ring in the new year with New York and then with our city.  We both considered NY a second home.  I had a meltdown right after we rang in the new year with NY but since then I've been meltdown-free *knock on wood*.  After we rang in the New Year with NY and had six things of something.  In Mexico, the tradition is that you eat 12 grapes as the clock counts down but my mom and I would substitute the grapes for something smaller or we would cut up the grapes.  Last night my aunt and I had skittles.  I thought it would be a good idea to eat 6 with NY and 6 with my city.  After we rang in the new year my aunt and I went to their backyard and watched some fireworks.  It was a nice night.  I'm pretty sure my momma would be proud.
-So my resolution for this year is to try new things.  Be fearless.

I'm probably missing stuff but you get the idea of how wonderful of a time I had.
Oh! Today I cooked this one dish my mom and I used to make and it was nice to see my aunt and uncle like it and figure out how to eat it (tostada).


I got the first season of Grey's Anatomy btw!!!!
HAPPY 2012! I'm already liking this year.  

10-day Vacation

So we are going on a 10-day vacation.  I'm packing right now.  I've had two meltdowns today.  Yeah, a bit out of the ordinary but the day after tomorrow is Christmas Eve and then, of course, there's Christmas.  If you know me, you know I LOVE Christmas.  I love everything about it.  I always loved spending this holiday with my mom but obviously, this year is different.  I will be okay.  I will pick up the pieces and move on but it's especially difficult during this time of the year.  Not too mention New Year's coming up.  After her 2008 diagnosis each New Year's was a "Yay! We've made it this far!" but it always came with the fear of the following year.  Now, there's no fear, just sadness.  I still feel she's alive, you know?

Back to the whole vacation thing, I won't give away too much, gotta keep it private you know? We will be watching a professional football game!!! Aaah! We will be spending Christmas there and then come down a little bit and go to the Timeshare thing where we get to go horseback ridding.  So, yeah as I'm typing this I just realized that I've already told y'all this, well it doesn't hurt to tell y'all again.  I'm excited.  I just don't like packing though because I always overpack.  Oh dear.  Wish me luck to not overpack like a crazy girl!

BIG NEWS:
Guess who's seeing the one and only Kelly Clarkson in concert???? YUP!!!! You guessed it! I'm so excited, I'm gonna go with my friend Katie!! I'm beyond excited!!!! I went to a Kelly Clarkson concert with my mom when I was in middle school and it was absolutely amazing!!!! I know she would be so happy for me right now! I was listening to a song on Pandora (on Jasper, my iPhone) and a commercial thing popped up and they talked about her going on tour and about going to the website, so you best believe I did exactly that. And tadaaa!!! She's coming to my city! So excited.  The countdown starts now!

Another thing, I called the periodontist to get my teeth situation fixed.  They called me back and asked about a different doctor, like getting an appt with him so they were looking for an appt for me.  They offered two options, both which really did not work.  I basically told them I really needed to get this fixed and so they were able to make room for me for a perfect time! Just shows what a little perseverance can do!

So, if I don't blog before then, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Everything and anything

Let's get straight to the good stuff:

-I got pretty good grades in my classes this semester, not my best grades but considering the following, I feel I did pretty well.
     -I started school living at the skilled nursing facility with my momma.
     -We were in and out of the hospital the entire time (from August-end of September, not including the summer)
     -My mom passed away close to the middle of the semester.
 I needed to make a short little list because I am way too hard on myself.  I got a B+ in my Video Production I class and it was my first, hopefully only, B+ in college.  I got two A- and the rest were A's, oh and one incomplete.  I got an A- in Beginning Acting and it's probably the grade I'm most proud of.    My GPA is 3.90 which is still pretty amazing.
-I'm really excited about the possibility of studying abroad in Italy.  I've gotten more signs from my momma so I'm hoping and praying for the best.  My aunt even wrote in her calendar the day I could possibly go to Italy.  It was really nice.  It's kind of like if we write it in the calendar, maybe it will come true.
-I've loved catching up with friends this break.  It's been really nice.  I've learned how to do different hairstyles and paint my nails differently.  Liz and I have been experimenting a lot with all that!
-I've been having lots of "moments" lately because of the holidays.  It's been difficult but they don't last that long, which is good.

-My room at my aunt's and uncle's house was just painted! I chose "Indulgent Mocha" color.
-I'm starting to decorate/organize my room a lot now so cross your fingers it looks good.
-Unfortunately, this past weekend, my boss' mother passed away.  It's just awful to know what she is feeling.  Please pray for her.
-Also, please pray for one of my high school English teacher's father, he is in hospice and, again, I know all too well what hospice is and the feelings associated with having a parent there.  Please pray for her.
-There are so many more people that I'm praying for, if I've said to y'all I'm praying for you guys, know that I am.  Prayers are very powerful, trust me.
-My adopted aunt and uncle and my aunt's sister and nephews are all gonna come down, well, my aunt and uncle are here, duh, but her sister and nephews are coming down because we will be going to a football game! It's professional football but I'm trying to keep it semi-private, you know? Anyway, we'll be there for Christmas and we'll travel a bit down and stay at a Timeshare for New Year's! I'm excited! There will be horseback riding! Interesting fact: My mom was terribly afraid of horses but was there with me when I wanted to ride one.  She was seriously one heck of a woman! My grandma really liked horses and loved to horseback ride.  I really wish I could have met her.  Well, one day I will, when I'm super old and wrinkly! I want to be as strong as they were/are (in heaven) and I know I have the tools to do so.
-I'm going to try writing stuff I realize.  I know that sounds weird.  I guess maybe they're called epiphanies.  I get those every now and then but I should probably right them down.  I don't know if I'm making sense, it could be that I'm just so tired I don't make sense but let's hope I do.
-I hope y'all are done Christmas shopping! Happy Holidays!

HAPPY 100TH POST! (& VERY IMPORTANT NEWS!!!)

That's right.  This is my 100th post! Can y'all believe it? 99 posts have already been written! Here is the link to the first one in case y'all wanted to see it.  A lot has changed, obviously.   The most important one, I believe is how much I've grown as a person. Seriously, if I knew then what I know now, then I'd be a really smart 18 year-old.  Haha. Seriously, though, it's insane how much you grow in a year, or in this case, in 100 blog posts.

So for the news of this week.  List? Yeah, I think it's my style, it helps me keep organized.


-FINALS are done!!!! I'm done with my third semester of college! I still get this feeling sometimes (since thursday 3:25ish) that I need to study for something. I definitely don't! Woohoo!
-Work was very stressful today.  My boss' mom isn't doing well.  Please pray for them. <3 Thank you.  Pray for her to comforted by God and our love (co-workers, friends, family).
-I'm doing very well in the "trying new things" department.  It's pretty amazing. My momma would be proud.
-I volunteered with Susan G. Komen today at this Breast Cancer Symposium in my city.  It was FANTASTIC! I loved helping out and meeting people from all over the world.  Singapore, United Kingdom, (I heard British accents!!!!) California, Venezuela, NEW YORK!, Italy (I need to tell y'all something later concerning Italy, BIG NEWS!), and many other places.  It was so rewarding and I loved talking with the ladies there, the ones at the booth where I volunteered.  I look forward to volunteering with them in the future!
-Acting final was super fun! Caity and I were nervous right after we performed it because we were the first ones and you know, it was the FINAL but we got amazing feedback!!! I really love theatre.  It makes me happy.  I always feel better leaving that class.  I'm gonna miss it tons.  Next theatre class up: Intro to Technical Production, where unfortunately there is no performing :( Oh well, until Fall 2012 for…INTERMEDIATE ACTING! I'm super excited for that one.
-I will miss Country Western Dance :( It was a very fun class.  I miss dancing.  Boo.  Hopefully, I will get to use my awesome dancing skills soon though.  Haha. But seriously.
-One of the other classes I will miss is Italian, I will be taking Italian next semester, so it will be okay.

✭✮✯So, some of y'all may have forgotten the Italy thing I mentioned above ↑ (way up there) and some of y'all maybe didn't but here it is….WAIT FOR IT…WAIT….so…I'm 83% sure I'm going to study abroad in Italy during the Spring of 2013!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is that amazing/wonderful/magnificent or what? It all started when I was talking to my Italian teacher, who was also my Spanish teacher in high school. I don't remember how we got to it but we started talking about studying abroad.  My scene partner and I were the last ones there after everyone (including ourselves) finished finals.  We all started talking about stuff and my teacher started talking about studying abroad in Italy.  I've always been the one to dismiss the idea because I always wanted to be here, different priorities you know? Now, though, everything has changed. It was nice to talk to her about it, she mentioned how learning Italian would be good for me in Italy.  (Rome, exactly).  She gave me a few compliments and made my week, seriously! I love Italian and to hear compliments about it is amazing.  Anyway, I talked with Alanna, study abroad information guru and I got lots of information.  Long story short, the opportunity is incredible.  When talking with Alanna, I still was 50-50 on it but now, I've visited the website like 2039480348 times and keep planning everything.  I am still worried about a few things but, y'all, wouldn't it be amazing? Or wait Amyzing? (My new nickname! Haha, thanks Mickey!) Well, anyway, please cross your fingers for everything to work out (especially financially).
-I feel I've been rambling but this was major news so it needed to be shared.
-I wish y'all good luck on finals! Almost there!
✭✮✯Whoa, before I forget, SIGNS.  The conversation with my Italian/Spanish teacher happened Wednesday and I got so many signs that day and some yesterday and one today.  If you know me, you know how I'm very big on signs.  I've seen two stockings with my mom's name on them in different restaurants, I see them as signs from my mom telling me she's okay.  So on Wednesdays I had two salads.  One, at this Starbucks on campus, weird, yeah, anyway, THE ONLY DRESSING THEY HAD WAS ITALIAN DRESSING.  Hello! Sign! Later that night, Katie and I went to a restaurant and they gave me ITALIAN DRESSING!!!  We saw videos in my Video Production class and they mentioned Italians and the Jersey Shore, but the focus was on the ITALIANS, it was about online dating and the risks or whatever (it was comedic) and one of them was supposed to be Italian!  Yesterday, when I talked to Alanna she gave me names of people that went there or are there right now.  The names ALFONSO and CASEY have meaning because my mom almost married an Alfonso (her true love) and Casey (pronounced like a "k") was my mom's assumed nickname for me, my middle name is Cassandra and she thought people would call me Casey.  So bam! signs!  Last night, I was on Pinterest looking at pictures of Rome when I saw this one right above.  "GO TO ROME"? I mean, come on! It's a sign!  Today, at the Symposium, TWO ITALIAN MEN came to our booth and even spoke a bit of Italian, it was hard to hear because they weren't speaking loudly but it was something about research.
-So, there you have it.  Signs. Pretty important to me.  Haha.   Momma would be proud of me for everything that happened this week.  So much, I can't even write it in here.  I'm loving these signs too!
-IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!!!! ♥

Letting it all out.

I probably shouldn't be writing this this late in the night/early morning but it's just hit me.  I guess, just more, that my mom will not be present at this Thanksgiving.  I just caught up with all the Grey's Anatomy episodes and there were too many things I could relate to.  There are plenty of days where I feel she's still alive.  I want to call her during lunch or I want to tell her about my day.  Today, we went to the new apartment to get stuff in boxes and such and I found letters my mom wrote to my grandma after my grandma passed.  I found it very ironic because I've recently started doing the same.  It's difficult, I'm not gonna lie and pretend everything is sunshine and rainbows all the time, obviously it's not.  It's difficult knowing I lost my one and only mom.  She was it.  My real family.  My best friend.  My everything.  I'm not a loner, duh, but she was it.  We were each others rocks and now, it's just me.  I can't help but angry sometimes because she even got this disease in the first place.  The "why?" question comes up a lot.  I've been through this the past 3 years 3 months and 22 days (before she passed) and I feel like I still have those but there aren't as strong.  I wish she would be here, alive, happy, healthy, next to me.  I wish she would be able to meet my husband (in the future) and my kids (in the future).  I wish she would have been able to walk me down the aisle.  I wish she would have seen me graduate from college (hopefully in 2 yrs.) I wish she were here.  It hits me every now and then that nobody will ever love me the way she did.  I am no longer anybody's daughter.  I'm just a college student.  That's it.  My heart doesn't belong to anybody.

Unfortunately, I keep getting flashbacks of awful moments when I thought I was going to lose her.  Or when people told me to "prepare" myself.  I hated that because they were all wrong. Those losers. They all had her dead months and weeks before. Heck! Even years before and they didn't even know anything.   The only people that had a better idea where the ones at the oncologist's office and they told us in a manner that was way better than the others. The concept that her heart has stopped beating is insane to me.  That her body doesn't even exist, is even crazier to think for me.  (She was cremated).  I haven't been to bed yet and it's 4:18 in the morning on Thanksgiving day.  We used to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade every Thanksgiving and I'm not sure I can do so this year.  Oh shoot. It's really hitting me.  I guess I'm having a moment right now.

But you know what? She is happy.  She is healthy.  She is alive.  Just in heaven though.  And it's better if you think about it, I mean, there aren't mean people there, there is no bad stuff.  It's perfect.  My mom had completed her mission here on earth and was able to go to heaven and meet God at the Pearly Gates.  I mean, what an honor.  My sweet momma was awesome enough and strong enough and wonderful that she finished her mission here on earth so God took her home.  I'm so lucky to have had her as my mom.  Another thing, she taught me everything she knew.  Part of her mission was raising me.  I'm strong enough that she did everything by the time I was 19.  Heck, most of it was done by the time I was 16.  She was so amazing in the way she raised me that I was already molded into a semi-adult at 16 and now, an adult at 19, so she was able to go home.

I know I'm just rambling but this is what I do to feel better.  I let it all out because it feels good.  I can tell you I'm not going to have nightmares or severe meltdowns today because I've let it out.  For whoever reads this, thank you for reading/listening to my ramblings and thoughts.

For those of you whom this is the first Thanksgiving without a loved one, hang in there.  We can do it.  They would want us to be happy and enjoy today.

With that being said, God bless.

-Amy

The first Thanksgiving.

Well, tomorrow will be my first Thanksgiving without my little sweet momma.  I think I'll be okay.  Although lately I've been having lots of "moments", that's the term Dr. Tucker and I came up with to describe a mini meltdown.  So, yeah, I've been having lots of those.  I know, though, my mom would have wanted me to enjoy Thanksgiving, so that's what I'm going to do.  

As far as everything else, I'm getting ready to finish my third semester! My last day will be December 8…the countdown begins! I'm excited for next semester because it's a new beginning and new classes.  Oh and here are other news:

-I'm officially joining Catholic Daughters of America!!! (I mentioned the organization last fall so I'm glad I'll be able to join!) My mom would be so happy!

-I did well on my monologue this past Monday! It was from The Memory of Water (I strongly recommend it) and I was Catherine.  

-As you can tell, I'm done with my Writing for the Media blogging assignment, that's why the list thing is back, it's so much easier.  

Life is going well.  Sure, I'm still having meltdowns and "moments" but I strongly believe my mom is smiling down and grinning of proudness (if that last one makes sense).  No question, I miss her tons and think about her everyday but I'm living the life she would have wanted me to and that makes me proud of myself too.  

So, my friends, Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy it with family and friends and be thankful.  I'm thankful for having such a strong support system and being able to spend Thanksgiving with the ones I love.  I'm most thankful that I had my mom for such a long time and that she was able to raise me to be the strong "woman" I am.  I don't consider myself to be a woman yet because I think I'm too young, but I'm not a girl anymore, so maybe lady? Anyway, I'm strong because she raised me to be so.  I'm everything I am because she loved me.  So, with that being said, HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! 

{WFTM-last one!}: Wedding and Holiday event.

Well, I'm glad to be able to write to y'all this time because many wonderful and stressful things happened since Thursday, so I'm hoping this one will top all other WFTM posts.

First of all, trying new things.  This past Friday and Saturday I worked with the Chapel Coordinator and he is still kind of new so I was the one in charge of the entire rehearsal and most of the wedding.  My boss (Wedding Chapel Coordinator) was visiting her mom in Alabama (she's sick, please pray for her.) To start it off, the priest wasn't going to be able to go to the wedding rehearsal, so I ran the ENTIRE wedding rehearsal.  Yeah, that's right! It was amazing! I told people where to stand, when to start walking, when to sit down. EVERYTHING. I'm not the kind of person to tell people what to do out of pure fun so this was a big step for me.  I step up when no one else does, my mom used to call me the "silent leader" so this was huge for me. I was talking to at least 20 people and I wasn't freaking out!  I answered people's questions clearly and they came to me for clarifications! It was absolutely amazing.  Yes, there were plenty of bumps along the road but I am so proud of myself.

I know my mom would be so proud of me.  She would absolutely love that I'm trying new things, whether it be eating a PB&J sandwich, or being fully committed to a character and saying everything they say (even cuss words), to painting my nails a different color or making big life decisions.  My mom taught me to try new things, not to worry about the "ifs" in life and go for your goals and that is exactly what I'm planning on doing. 

Second: healing.  I had a little meltdown yesterday right before rehearsal for this one holiday event my university does to kick off the holiday season.  As the holidays get closer it might be more difficult to stay strong and not have a meltdown but that's when healing begins.  I just want to make sure to enjoy life and not focus on all the sucky moments my mom and I went through before.  She would want me to remember her by all the AWESOME, AMAZING AND WONDERFUL times we had together, and trust me, there were plenty.  I've learned that it's okay to cry but it's also okay to laugh.  There will be times when I just want to cry and there will be times when I just want to talk about nonsense. It doesn't mean I've forgotten her, it just means I'm healing.  My mom and I dealt with this disease for 3 years, 3 months and 22 days.  It's time we both have some fun and enjoy our lives.  Mine will be enjoyed here on earth until I see her in heaven once I'm old and wrinkly and hers will be enjoyed in heaven, having a blast with all our loved ones.    


Here are some wonderful quotes I found on www.pinterest.com! [Love this website].  They describe a lot of what I'm feeling and pretty much my outlook on things to come.  

Thank y'all for coming along this ride with me.   Now, to the next step: finals! Ahh! 

God Bless!